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[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, but the music is so loud it blows your eardrums and you can't see the screen because of all the blood covering it.


I wish that Toady woud start working on DF again...

[Reasonableman]

GrAnTeD! He does switch back, but doing so causes his brain to implode from the pressure of such a swift change of pace and he dies. Congradu-freaking-lations. Now Toady's dead, DWAAARF FORTRESS will never be completed, and it's all your fault. You prostitute.


I wish I wasn't a prostitute.

[Kagus]

Granted.  You no longer charge.


I wish I had more time...

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, in fact, you have all the time in the world, as everything except you has stopped(ignoring the air and light problems)

Everything has stopped, including any computer that could play DF.
Oddly enough, you can still breathe, you don't age, or need to eat or drink, and can see everything as if light still moved(but it doesn't).

One infinity later everything moves again, but by that time you have gone mad from your experience.

I wish that toady would get back to working on DF but would not be affected by it in any way.

[DreaDFanG]

Granted but toady decides dwarves need more fingers...

I wish for a wand of wishing.

[Keiseth]

Granted. You get g - A Wand of Wishing (0 charges). Minutes later something hiding in the shadows casts Sticks to Snakes. Your wand becomes a king cobra. Would you like your items identified?

I wish for a piano.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,but you can't play it and it automatically plays the first tune almost every beginner plays on the piano on repeat,forever.

I wish for a shadowcat in real life.

[Nilocy]

Granted. But in a cock up with the delivery system, you get a Lightcat. It speeds off at the speed of light, becoming infinitely massive and screwing over the world.

I wish education wasn't needed.

[qwertyuiopas]

Granted, now becoming educated is optional BUT the only job you can get without an education is politics, so...

I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for "I wish for recursion""""""""""""

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But you didn't phrase your wish recursively, you phrased it as a nested wish. And so your wish is granted in the form of a small bird's nest with two speckled blue eggs inside.

Code: [Select]

[F_WISH]
IF (!<SRC.TAG.WISHES>)
  SRC.TAG.WISHES=1
  SRC.F_WISHGRANT
  SRC.F_WISH
ELIF (<SRC.TAG.WISHES> >= 13)
  SRC.TAG.WISHES=(<SRC.TAG.WISHES> + 1)
  SRC.F_WISHGRANT
  SRC.F_WISH
ELSE
  SRC.MSG You have been granted 13 wishes.
  SRC.TAG.WISHES=0
ENDIF
Return 1


[F_WISHGRANT]
SRC.ADDITEM <ARGS>
SRC.ACT.BOUNCE
Return 0


[LeoLeonardoIII]

(It might not have been obvious, but the above is a wish for recursion. And it includes a 13-wish cap so it doesn't recurse forever)

[qwertyuiopas]

Nearly granted, but a fatal syntax error is created in it and it core dumps your life.


I wish someone would quine "quine"

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, almost. Your wish, unfortunately, yields falsehood when preceded by your wish.

I wish the next sentence were true.

[Okenido]

The above wish is false.

I wish I knew how to program C++.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But then everyone uses this language and the entire C family is shelved and never used again.

I wish I knew.