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[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted. You realize your frying pan is awesome and perfect. You fire up your oven and begin cooking. Everything flows effortlessly, spices thrown with flair and panache. You're cooking in a way nobody has ever done, and it's as if you're surrounded by a golden aura. Birds sing outside. It's the best meal you've ever made. The best thing you've ever done.
You sit at the table, a beautiful plate arranged before you. On the side, a silk napkin with a silver knife and fork. You glance up, and through the window a sunbeam filters through acacia leaves and warms your soul. A tear wells up at the corner of your eye.
And you drop dead, suddenly overcome by starvation.

I wish Maggarg would have snacked on something while trying to catch his pan.

Granted.
I snacked ON YOU

My life is complete.
I wish for nothing more now.

[Getheli]

Wish granted. You no longer exist, but more so in that everyone you knew no longer exists either.

I wish I had the same amount of control over people that I have over my DF dwarves.

[Pnx]

Granted, you now set professions and jobs for all those around you, you also designate what they should all be doing. But unfortunately they now also behave like dwarves, and when you can't get enough beer for them they begin to tantrum and commit violent acts...

I wish for the best of all wishes.

[Reasonableman]

Granted. But your wish, being the best of all wishes, is actually a wish to have more wishes than the result of your last wish... and eventually you reach the point where your wishes, or at least the physical brainpower required to comprehend them, occupies the total volume of infinite space.

I wish that I had a handbag full of tacos that were actually small, icingless cakes shaped like tacos.

[Angellus]

But the weather was too damn warm (should not have started artificial magma-heating in the fortress), and the ice melts...

I wish I had a cookie.

[Reasonableman]

But the weather was too damn warm (should not have started artificial magma-heating in the fortress), and the ice melts...

I wish I had a cookie.

I fail to see any correlation between that response and my wish... There is no ice involved in the thing. I explicitly state that it is icing-less, IE, lacking in icing, sugary bane of tooth health and haunter of birthday cakes.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But your cookie turns into a frying pan.

Two of them.

I wish my delicious nutrient-rich flesh hadn't been eaten!

[Reasonableman]

Haunter of Birthday Cakes

I see what you did there.
And however much I should like to respond to your wish, I shall wait for someone else to fulfill it, seeing as mine was so recently submitted.

EDIT: Goodness, my constant quibbling is very nearly filling this thread with my posts.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, it was just removed.

I wish for a *<gold>*.

[DreaDFanG]

Granted but it turns out to be X<Gold>X

I wish to be a uber beer powered bearded mechine!

[Nilocy]

Granted. You become a uber beer powered bearded mechine engraving on a wall in some random mine shaft at -100000 z levels. Tough luck.

I wish i had a frog, and his name was toady.

[A_Fey_Dwarf]

Granted. You now have your very own Frog named Toady.
&
*cough* Demon *cough*

I wish I had Diablo 3

[Cthulhu]

Granted, you have the current development build, which only contains the level shown on the video.  Not much of a corruption, because it'd still be awesome.

I wish I had Shadow of the Colossus.

[Nilocy]

Granted. You now have Shadow of the Colossus. It eats your motherfuckingfaceoff. Gratz

I wish, i had better things to do on a saturday night.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You get roped into a RL aristocrats joke and the horrors live with you forever.

I wish someone would create a 3D DF client, still tile based, but with volume.