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[DwarfyDwarf]

Wish granted. Postal 3 gets released and you try to purchase it. Unfortunately, due to the trend of raising game prices, it costs $500. You spend 2 weeks f your paycheck to buy it, and then find out it's buggy and laggy as all hell.

I wish Dwarf fortress included dwarves.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Dwarf Fortress now includes the dwarve race. They are functionally identical to regular dwarfs.

I wish that my history class was unbiased.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Done, but now it's crap and inaccurate.

I wish I didn't have to come up with something to wish for.

[Alternatecash]

Done! The default wish is a wish for more wishes, and the resulting strain on reality edits you out of existence.

I wish the cast of Jersey Shore were the target of a nuke larger than the Tsar Bomba.

[Bdthemag]

Granted, but your house is also blown up in a wierd explosion.

I wish I could wish for another wish.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. Ensuing paradoxi blow up the universe. good job, jerk.

I wish we all could win.

[Dr. D]

Granted. Now there is no more fun the world since everybody wins and losing is fun.

I wish my pen was not broken.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Your pen is not broken. However, it is out of ink.

I wish that I was infinitely powerful.

[Dr. D]

Granted. You can now exert infinite power, but only for an infinitesimal amount of time. So you can do about 2 joules of work.

I wish I could corrupt wishes better.

[Diablous]

Granted. Your skill at corrupting wishes is unmatched. But Toady then locks this thread.

I wish I exercised more.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You now have a 16-hour-a-day, seven days a week workout schedule.

I wish that I had a better computer.

[Bdthemag]

Granted, but it becomes self-aware and launches skynet. On the bright side you'll be able to play Starcraft II on max graphics!

I wish I didn't suck so much at mafia.

[DwarfyDwarf]

Granted. You're now slightly better at mafia. However, you're now terrible at all other games.

I wish I was homeschooled.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Your parents turn out to be horrendously bad teachers with unrealistic expectations.

I wish that I had more time to read.

[DwarfyDwarf]

Granted. You give up all of your time for reading and subsequently lose your job and starve.

I wish I was never tired(and none of that you are now a tree/statue bullcrap.)