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[Baughn]

Granted. Everyone on the internet is now very polite.

In exchange, everyone now acts as trolls in real life. Civilization collapses in a matter of days.


I wish to be able to read ten books simultaneously.

[Dr. D]

Granted. You can read ten books simultaneously, but in the sense of Special Relativity that you do it simultaneously in only some reference frames. Unfortunately none of them are yours.


I wish I had a fish.

[Criptfeind]

You know have a Whale shark.

On top of you.

Oh, how I wish I had a thread for many ++ to post count.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You create your own thread and fill it with spam. The thread is deleted and you are permabanned.

I wish that people were not as crazy.

[DwarfyDwarf]

Wish granted. Now all the animals are insane. They all murder everyone and civilization as we know it crumbles.

I wish sneezes felt amazing.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, sneezes are now orgasmic.
So now people replace reproduction with  sneezing , eventually humanity die out.


I wish.. something..

[Dr. D]

Granted. Now you have something, but not a hole lot of it.

I wish I had a better wish.

[Bdthemag]

Granted, but instead you get a better fish.

I wish Paypal would stop being stupid.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Paypal is now down indefinitely, rendering it incapable of stupidity.

I wish that I had less homework.

[Hubris Incalculable]

Granted. Toady turns your homework into a demon.

I wish for a fish-wish-dish.

[DwarfyDwarf]

Granted. You now have a fish made of wishes on a dish. But, the fish was a pufferfish, and the chef who prepared it was a novice. Enjoy your poison.

I wish that spaceships were made of glass.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. Due to the disastrous failure of every single space program ever, advancement in communication technologies and astronomy slows down to a fraction of what it could have been.

I wish that I thought on multiple levels of consciousness.

[DwarfyDwarf]

Wish granted. You soon go crazy from all of your consciousnesses constantly arguing.

I wish for beef jerky.

[Acanthus117]

Granted.

Fifteen metric tons of beef jerky land on you.

You die.

I wish that I was as awesome as Barney (from How I Met Your Mother).

[Angel Of Death]

Granted, you are now as AWESOME as Barney from How I Met Your Mother.

You also have all of the STDs Barney has. Including Aids.


I wish Postal 3 was released and it was fun to play.