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[Nilocy]

Granted, they go insane. And never speak to anyone as they're now scraping their own brains out through their belly button.

I wish sobriety was outlolled.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Everyone is required to be at least slightly inebriated. Like prohibition, it lasts only a short time. And during that time, only one tragedy occurs. You catch a slight lung infection, and must go in for a checkup. Your doctor, being completely sloshed, pulls you in for emergency surgery and messes up big time, leaving you bedridden for life with no chance of recovery. His malpractice insurance fails to pay anything, and he flees the country leaving no assets. The next morning, Sobriety Prohibition is repealed but you cannot drink to celebrate.

I wish for more (or less, whichever is better).

[Sappho]

Granted, you are given more, but due to free will it turns out to be too much, which means that less would have been better, creating a paradox that collapses the universe.

I wish my dog would crap outside in his designated crapping area rather than inside on the carpet.

[Cthulhu]

You should've given him Michael Moore.

[Nilocy]

Granted.

I wish i could(n't) not have a funny little pink anti-matter back pack.

[Cthulhu]

Granted, you have a little pink antimatter backpack.

You are now dead.

I wish I knew the power of minotaurs before I went at them like a spider-monkey.

[DreaDFanG]

Granted, but you forgot the power of spider monkeys and get ownzerd by some...

I wish that the people that want this thread to die would at least reason out that posting makes it live...

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  Everyone in the world dies.

I wish I had chainsaws for hands, spider-fangs, and copies of Titan Quest and Neverwinter Nights 2 for eyes.

[Kagus]

Granted.  A few moments after transformation, you brutally castrate yourself and then inject deadly poison into your tongue by biting it in pain.  You attempt to find your way to a hospital, but your vision has doubled and become dull.  You succumb to your bleeding and poison on the street a few blocks from your home.

A dog eats you.


I wish for a bathtub that's long enough for me to fit in, dammit...

[Devastator]

It falls on you.

I wish I owned a Dragon.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,it burns you.

I wish there was a giant barrel of monkeys in Utah.

[Nilocy]

Granted, but they move to Ohio.

I wish upon on star.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

The star decides to grant it to you personally.
You vaporise as billions of tonnes of flaming plasma come to tell you the good news.

I wish I had a new frying pan, the one I have now is crusted with carbonised fat and grease and bits of past fryups.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But your new pan is frozen in carbonite.

I wish people in Ohio would be happier.

[Maggarg - Eater of chicke]

Granted, but those bastards are just so happy it drives the rest of the world to madness, and civilization collapses in flames and ashes.

I wish my mes frying pan wasn't encased in carbonite.