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[Wolf Tengu]

You get duct tape to plug the holes ni your bucket.

However,as soon as you plug the holes, the icecream rain stops, and you've no reason to even have a bucket.

I wish for something adorable and/or fluffy.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You are given a starving, rabid mutant wolf puppy. It is adorable, fuzzy, and five times your size.

I wish that reality shows would stop airing and that everyone would realize that they are stupid. 

[Urist McOverlord]

Granted. Everybody realizes they're stupid, and they stop airing. Unfortunately, Zombie Ed Wood and Michael Bay work together on a sitcom that replaces all the now-open time slots.

I wish that our Michael Bay would switch places with the alternate universe Michael Bay from the classic Star Trek TOS episode 'Mirror, Mirror.'

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. You are switched with your alternate universe self as well, leaving you stuck with the original Micheal Bay.

I wish that TV shows were not all lowest common denominator garbage.

[Darvi]

Granted. It's glued to your face.

I wish I had some genuine cash for some new games.

[clockout1]

Granted. You are jailed for possession of counterfeit currency.

I wish for a nickel.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. It hits you in the head at a speed of 1000 mph.

I wish that everyone would adopt the metric system.

[Taco Dan]

Everyone in the world adopts a single child named "Metric System". However, you're the one who has to take care of him.

I wish for EVEN MOAR KITTEHS!

[Darvi]

Spoiler: Granted (click to show/hide)

I wish for more privacy.

[Tellemurius]

Granted, the government will continue to watch you to protect your privacy.

I wish for a giant rock named bob

[Darvi]

Granted. It's going to babysit sit on you.

I wish for a flawless teleportation device that only I can use.

[AntiAntiMatter]

Granted. The government confiscates it and will only let you use it if you work for them.

I wish that it was spring.

[Rose]

Granted. The government confiscates it and will only let you use it if you work for them.

I wish that it was spring.

granted. we are all now living in an RTS. the world is ravaged by nonstop battles.

I wish I had more time to do things.

[Realmfighter]

You have all the time in the world, but as you Scratch off the mark signifying your 100,560th year you realize that you didn't have all that many things to do.

I wish I had some pizza.

[Darvi]

Granted. *throws Pizza like pie in Realmfighters face*
 
I wish I had permanent internet access.