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[lordnincompoop]

Granted. You spend days agonising over which emote to use for each word, and people think you're a douche as a result.

I wish math textbooks didn't repeat themselves about the previous for the first half of it.

[Peewee]

Granted. Now every math teacher on the planet has to start from the beginning of the book so everything makes sense, instead of teaching what's in the curriculum.

...what?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish for exploding knees, again. (Argembarger took them away with his wish )

[Johnfalcon99977]

Granted. You now have a pair of fake heils in your hands that are planted with nukes. Which are armed for 3.... 2.... 1....

Boom.

Nice knowing ya!

I wish I had the meaning of life.

[Fortis]

Granted. The meaning of life for you is to feed giant cave spiders or something equally big and hungry. There's one there now in fact.

I wish I had a pizza.

[Taco Dan]

Granted. You get a pizza covered in worms and dog feces.


I wish I wasn't sick.

[maxicaxi]

You aren't sick, you are dead

I wish i had computer that did not suck

[James.Denholm]

Granted. It no longer uses fans to create a lower region of air pressure inside your computer, and as a result overheats even more often.

I wish I could control time, à la Braid.

[lastofthelight]

Granted. You can now play Braid in your head at all times. Unfortunately, this is because you have severe autism, and can do nothing else.

I wish I had the ability to bring the world wisdom.

[Johnfalcon99977]

Granted. Now everyone has been granted enought wisdom to know to slowly kill you as painfully as possible. Why? How should I know?! Their the wise ones!

I wish I had a super-mega-awsome-cannon.

[Sheb]

Granted. It only shoots marshmallow tough.


I wish nobody notice than the wish above wasn't really corrupted.

[Blaze]

Granted. Now you and your actions are unnoticed by anything. At first you look upon this with amusement, as you are no longer held accountable for your actions; but as the years pass, your sanity is eroded by the crushing loneliness. After several decades, you die alone and unloved in a filthy hole like an animal, only to watch in shock as the grim reaper appears, utterly ignores you, and takes one of the rats feasting on your rotting corpse to the afterlife. You remain on Earth as a spirit, only able to watch as the world you knew crumbles around you completely alone; as humanity has taken to the stars and left this blasted wasteland of a planet and its now completely barren star system behind after WWLVII.

Several billion years pass, the sun, now having exhausted most of its fuel swells up and becomes a red giant, engulfing you along with the rest of the solar system. You spend the next several billion years being tossed around the sun complete with the agonizing heat and pressure; eventually the sun goes nova, propelling you away for several trillion eons. Then you are caught in the gravity well of a black hole and are sucked into its center where you are crushed into a subatomic particle.

You remain in that state for all eternity.

I wish for a cup of apple cider.

[Johnfalcon99977]

Granted. You have apple cider that looks at you with a penterating gaze that makes you regret making a wish so corrupt and evil.

I wish I didn't feel guilt.

[Peewee]

Granted. You can now only feel pain.

I wish for pain.

[mainiac]

I wish for pain.

Granted.

I wish they'd never canceled the plans for a moon base.

[Peewee]

But... you're supposed to corrupt it!
Granted. The moon base will never get built anyway, due to lack of funding.

I wish for MORE PAIN.