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[Lillipad]

Granted. You become crippled by the sheer amount of JUSTICE!! and unintended semi-plagiarism in your body.

I wish I had a nice suit.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted. You ahave a nice suit made of cockroaches..

I wish I was a god.

[Nilocy]

Granted. You ahave a nice suit made of cockroaches..

I wish I was a god.

You become god, then realise everything you ever did was wrong in all godly ways possible.

I wish I was war incarnate

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted. Your death is swift as your left hand acts on its own and decapitates you. Later, when you were buried, there would be reports that your limbs were attacking one another.

I wish I could perform WTS.

[Shade-o]

Granted. You become skilled in Wild Turkey Shooting, but become disfigured when your gun misfires.

I wish that Batman was real, striking fear into the heart of evil.

[dragnar]

Granted. He does not strike fear into the hearts of the police, and is soon arrested.

I wish I had built a dispenser here.

[James.Denholm]

Granted. But wait! That dispenser is a Spy!

I wish for a cigar.

[Argembarger]

It's a gag exploding cigar that peels outward like a banana peel and blackens your face, like in cartoons.

I wish that I could beat this level in Lemmings.

[Greiger]

Granted, you can.  But your lemmings game becomes haunted.  When you get to the point where you are sure to pass the level it nukes.

Oh noe! ...  ... Poppopopopopopopopopopoppopopopopopopopopopop...pop

I wish to pass my introduction to electric circuits class.

[Sheb]

Granted. But you're now a student in Theology.


I wish I could get a girlfriend.

[Lillipad]

Granted. Your girlfriend is a praying mantis, who eats your head after years of marriage and failed attempts conception of children + 1 successful attempt.

I wish for universal corruption!

[James.Denholm]

Granted. You are universally corrupted.

You see that red door? I wish it was painted black.

[breadbocks]

Granted. Rolling Stone did it first, and sues you.

I wish I had a super mega ultra uber bunny.

[Manchild]

Granted, But it uses its super mega ultra uber bunny powers to remove your wish from existence.



I wish there were new updates for my Fallout New Vegas game to fix all the darn glitches, bugs, and breaks in the game.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted, but it becomes horribly slow and to top it off your CPU and GPU simultaneously break. Irreparably.

I wish my graphics card would be a nice little silicon chip and render mah polys correctly.