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[eclipsetail]

Granted, but they install themselves into Your body...

OWOWOWOWOWWOWOWOWWWWWW!!!! GET THEM OOOFFFFFF!!!!!! *die*

I wish for paper.

Granted, you get a 1 inch X 2 mile strip of toilet paper.

I wish that humanity would stop being so stupid all the time...

Granted.
Humans are now probing your body.

I wish for peace. =D

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. But it doesnt last very long, because people cant agree on how peaceful they actually are.

I wish

Spoiler: homestuck spoiler omgz (click to show/hide)

Sollux was still alive.

[Rose]

granted. but he drinks 5 gallons of mind honey and destroys all he can see.

I wish for the next release of DF to come out.

[eclipsetail]

Granted. Dragon fable has been updated.

I wish for TWO papers.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted. You hae two pieces of A6 paper. Enjoy.

I wish my laptop had better hardware.

[Keita]

GRANTED! But my laptop sucks balls so I steal yours.

I wish for a gun that shoots helpful bullets and a doom melon!

[Jiharo]

Granted. But the bullets are only willing to  help people to die and instead of doom melon you recieve dummy lion who drools incessantly.

I wish for infinity.

[SolarShado]

Granted, infinity appears inside your head, causing it to explode violently.

I wish I was tired.

[Medicine Man]

Granted! You are now so tired that you sleep...Forever

I wish for Liberal Crime Squad.

[Samthere]

Granted! They kill ye, ye freakin' conservative, an' then they get shot by police!

I WISH ME BOAT WEREN'T LEAKY.

[Medicine Man]

Granted, it's now sinky.

I wish that there was no such thing as racism.

[Comrade_Fregge]

Granted, now you cant out a label on all the racists, and thereby they can do whatever they want.

I wish I was the lord of an undead castle, filled with skeletons, liches, ghouls and zombies, all under my command.

[Medicine Man]

Granted, you now have a castle filled with your monsters which follow your every whim. That is until they revolt and rip out your organs while you're still alive.

I wish for Huesoo to be unbanned forever.

[dragnar]

Granted ye pathetic lubber! But he'll be walkin the plank as soon as me men lay eye on im!

I be wishing fer the greatest treasure ere' seen by pirate eye!

[Medicine Man]

Granted, you get a bunch of pirated dvd's

I wish people talked like software pirates.