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[Cthulhu]

Granted.  You begin menstruating.  Have fun with that.

I wish this wish didn't come true.

[qwertyuiopas]

Congrats, it didn't, but just before that, it changed into thee ultimate no-loophole wish for a credit card with unlimited money and no restrictions or impact on the economy...

I wish that (semi)megabeast week lasted an extra week so that we get all kinds of neat features.
And that DF 1.0 was released in 2 weeks. Or less.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  It's nowhere near finished, and after it's released Toady stops checking the forum, stops working on the game, and withdraws from society to make Carnagebasements the Gleeful Barbarian, a felsite ring.

Also, if my wish didn't come true, then the wish's not coming true would satisfy the wish's requirements, meaning it DID come true.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, your wish didn't come true because due to a wish paradox a Time Genie erased you from history and replaced you with a scrawny man in a dark tunnel.
You are likely to be eaten by a grue.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  You wish for sailors.

I wish I had a torch.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, but the torch is one of those medeival gag torches that blows up a couple minutes after you light it. You do, and it does. Hurray! Bubonic plagues all around!

I wish the British lost their fetish for that second "u" in "humor"
And that they'd agree, it's so easy to see, (something that rhymes with humor)

I'm a lazy lazy man.

EDIT: Removing most of the dramatic hamster references

[ May 30, 2008: Message edited by: LeoLeonardoIII ]

[Cthulhu]

Granted, it's now spelled hmour.

I wish I had something delicious and non-toxic to drink.

[Bien]

Granted, you get a glass of water.
I wish I had an XBOX 360 and an XBOX.

[ May 30, 2008: Message edited by: Bien ]

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. They are hacked units that are programmed to be replacements for your lungs and your heart respectively.
Then you start getting red circle errors.

I wish this thread was at least 27 pages long.

[Bien]

Nevermind this. Wrong forums, I was supposed to write this for the BSF game.

[ May 30, 2008: Message edited by: Bien ]

[Bien]

Granted, it is.
I wish I had a lockpicking set.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

quote:Originally posted by Armok:
<STRONG>I wish my speed was c*(1-(1/10^1000)).</STRONG>

1/10 times itself 1000 times is a VERY small number.
1 minus that very small number is, for most purposes, just about 1.

So your speed is equal to the speed of light times just barely less than 1? You could have simplified to:

I wish my speed was c

At which point I would have answered: Granted, your speed was c, but only for a tiny fraction of a moment and now you're completely normal. Except you are now addicted to Dr Pepper.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  You don't know how to use it.

I wish this wish weren't a wish, for a wish that's not a wish wishes for no wish to be wished that is a wish, or even isn't a wish, that wish not a wish being a wish that is not a wish, defined by Webster's wish dictionary, as a wish that is a wish, wished for by a wisher who wishes his wish would be a wish.

[SHAD0Wdump]

STEAK BONANZA!!!!

I wish for one of those portable hole thingamajigers,the ones in loony toon episodes.

[Kagus]

Granted.  But while you are walking around with it and looking for an optimal place to use it, a bending of spacetime occurs wherein the hole creates a hole in your pocket and then falls through itself.  It is now irretrievable.

I wish Cthuffles had an easier time coming up with wishes.