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[Karnewarrior]

Granted. For 5 seconds.

I wish she loved me... /o  o\
                                 ^

[Acanthus117]

Granted. She loves your liver on a bed of rice served with fava beans.

I wish that Karnewarrior's gal ate the rest of him.

[Phantom]

Granted. Sadly she also eats your filipino ass and Vester.

I wish to be not remembered, and fade into anonymity...
To be ever forgotten...
Without a thought...
To be forever known...

[Acanthus117]

Granted. People stop caring about you, and forget you even exist. You die a few days later after getting hit by a car whilst crossing the street. Your corpse is left in the middle of the road for years till it is nothing more than a red splat on the floor.

I wish that... uh... that I could slow down time and un-slow it down

Also
BOO HOO WAH WERE NOT SERIUS ENUFF
/obligatory

[Phantom]

It was a fine corrupted wish, uncaring one.

Granted. However, there is something that you have done.
In an attempt to slow down time enough so that you would be able to dodge a car driven by an unconscious man, who hits several people in the process, including several of your relatives.
Overcome by depression, you accidentally slow down time forever. Have fun in your quiet earth.

I wish, if I am allowed to, have all the world leaders die. And then...
Under my instruction I get many persuasive figures under my command to combine all the worlds countries, to make a world without borders.

[Acanthus117]

wish pl0x

[knightedskull]

Granted, 'till your death.   As a leader yourself, your wish kills you.

I wish to push a katamari ball down a snowy mountain.

[dragnar]

Granted. Turns out the katamari cannot pick up snow because it just melts off.

I wish I had a katamari ball!

[Medicine Man]

The wish god mishears you and thinks you said you want a calamari ball,you get a ball of rotten calamari and it keeps on reappearing every time you throw it out.

I wish for...A magma sword.

[Strife26]

Granted. Being a flow, it quickly flows down, while you combust due to the intense heat.

I wish that the power cord for my laptop worked.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted. The power cord now does, but the laptop doesn't.

I wish for Mass Effect 3.

[Greiger]

Granted, However Commander Shepard is not the hero this time.  This time the main character is an Elcor and your quest is related to finding something for dinner.  Your entire group is made up of nothing but Elcor, Volus and Hanar.  When played the game induces boredom related deaths in 60% of people subjected to it.  And induces coma in the rest.

I wish I could beat Mass Effect 1 soon so I can start playing 2.

[lordnincompoop]

Hey, that's till pretty fun!

Granted. You finish it just before you die, and you barely get past the intro before you keel over (it's very good, mind).

I wish I could find dem Kinetic Coils and Frictionless Materials! Gaah!

Also, just finished MS1. Amazing. Go BioWare!

[Karnewarrior]

Granted. But you are unable to move the frictionless materials.

I wish that me and my older sister Rose got to live in a nice castle like the one Lord Lucien lives in.

[Urist McOverlord]

Granted. Peter Molyneux makes a game out of it. The game is brilliant, but the plot ham-handedly railroads the PC into doing stupid things. And the hero is more of a badass than you.

I wish that I had a functional superpowered gaming computer. And a screen. And all the associated cables. And that I could still get games.