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[Diablous]

Granted. But cybernetics eat your soul, and you turn evil and are killed by a ragtag bunch of heroes.


I wish people wouldn't forget to make wishes after corrupting one.

[knightedskull]

Granted, however your wish does not go beyond this.

I wish I could write the name "Jack Thompson" into a Death Note.

[Acanthus117]

Granted. But to get to the death note, you also have to kill yourself, so you cannot reap your bounty.

I wish that I had more time to do stuff.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. But then you have less stuff to do, thus giving you a large, boring space of time.

I wish I could get the rest of my cosplay outfit together. ;-;

[SolarShado]

Granted. But it turns out the whole thing is 3 sizes too small for you to actually wear

I wish I had a kerosene-powered cheese grater, so I could install Arch Linux on it and make it even more awesome. 

[Itnetlolor]

Granted, but it ends up igniting and exploding, shredding your skin in the process.

I wish I can get that damn pineapple.

[Acanthus117]

Granted. As soon as you get it, your head explodes, due to the pineapple having a small C4 charge placed in it.

I wish for tacos.

[RedWarrior0]

Granted. You eat a taco to discover that it has half a bottle of Blair's 6AM Reserve in it.

I wish that I don't suffer or get harmed by capsaicin.

[SolarShado]

Granted, you are infected with self-replicating nano-machines that destroy all capsaicin in your body. You no longer feel pain of any physical kind. This is not as good as it sounds.

I wish for a tall glass of ice-cold water.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. But since the glass is made of ice-cold water, it just splashes all over the place.

I wish my outfit fit me.

[SolarShado]

Granted. *hands you a large towel* that should fit, just wrap it around yourself

I wish for MUZAK!

[James.Denholm]

Granted. Here's an iPod.

Filled with Justin Bieber's songs.

I wish that I had the power to punch Steve Jobs in the stomach whenever I felt the need to.

[lordnincompoop]

Granted. However, Steve Jobs now has the power to put a bullet in your head whenever he wants to. He makes use of his power immediately.

I wish SolarShado knew what capsaicin really is.

[Diablous]

Granted. He doesn't care though.


I wish I was a skilled at fighting with swords.

[Lord Dakoth]

Granted. The sword shop is out of swords... and all other weapons, for that matter. Example: http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0136.html

I wish 4chan would just disappear.