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[Greiger]

Granted, you can control time.  But you are not immune to the effects.  The first thing you do is stop time as a test. It works.
Fudge

Granted, you get an extra toe.  Unfortunately it isn't so much a toe as a horrible skin disease.  It reaches your heart (...somehow) and kills you.

I wish to know what Rashilul's oddly familiar avatar comes from.

[sonerohi]

Granted. Unfortunately, it is part of a repressed memory involving a priest, a clown, and animal control that sends you into depression.

I wish for some philips screwdrivers.

[knightedskull]

Granted.   A tool box falls on your head fracturing it.

I wish to fly an IL-2 aircraft   

(btw I've read and watched the manual to the plane)

[Phantom]

Granted, but it is during WW2. When in a dogfight with an ME-109 Squadron, you fail doing a Split S maneuver and you are shot down by a pursuing ME-109. You are sent to a POW camp, where you are abused and ridiculed until you break and kill yourself.

I wish for exactly 1 half of a Uranium atom.

[maxicaxi]

granted it is split right next to you. you die.

I wish i did not have diabetes any more

[Acanthus117]

Granted. You now have prostate cancer, and your balls are viewed world wide as a scientist prods them with needles.

I wish that I was an awesome marksman.

[Urist McOverlord]

Granted. You have no guns. ever.

I wish I could come up with an interesting wish.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted, but it is corrupted by your uninterestingness of wishing.

I wish I could survive being run over by a car without pain.

[James.Denholm]

Granted. There are now no cars.

I wish this little metal Alien sculpture on my desk was alive.

[maxicaxi]

granted you die......

i wish i had an awesome pc

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted. You lose all knowledge of how computers work, and thus consider your shitty old Dell to be awesome and intimidating and MAGIC.

I wish I had my car back...

[James.Denholm]

Granted. See that shadow around your feet that is rapidly growing?

I wish I didn't procrastinate so much.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Granted. Now you slack off too much.

I wish... No, I can already survive being hit by a car, so... Crap. What should I wish for... *CRUNCH* Stupid car... Oh yeah! Now I know! I wish I could finally beat I Wanna Be The Guy on Impossible.

[Terrahex]

You beat it but... how will you spend your time now. myou reflect on all those hours maticulously spent... 

I wish that I had x-ray vision. oh wait, that could end badly. I wish I could fly

[Lokii]

Granted, too bad it goes away the first time yet get too high up...

I wish I had mad skillz