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[Diablous]

Granted. But your jokes wear thin after a while, and people kill you because of them.


I wish for toilet paper.

[Caesar]

You get your toilet paper, but unfortunately for you it is so rough that it makes you bleed whenever you use it. Eventually you bleed to death.


I wish to live once again!

[Diablous]

Granted. You rise from the dead. People think you are a zombie and kill you again.


I wish I am never ninja'd

[Hungry]

Granted but you awake from the dead to find your trapped in your coffin and die from suffication.
Granted I'm ninja'd instead...and I'm not happy.

I wish to feed the hungry, dwarves.

[Caesar]

The hungry dwarfs have been fed. Unfortunately it was fire imp meat that they ate, and it's still hot. They all explode.


I wish to have my corpse teleported above ground, just to scare the heck out of the people that killed me (twice).

[Diablous]

Granted. It teleports so far up, that it would explodes when it hits the ground, but falls into the arctic ocean.


I wish I came up with more wishes.

[Caesar]

You do, but unfortunately they're all corrupted.


I wish this wish were corrupted.

[Baughn]

Granted. The wish is corrupted, causing a segmentation fault in the genie. Shortly thereafter, absolutely nothing happens. Forever, as time has crashed.

I wish I had my very own real-life dwarven fortress to rule.

[dragnar]

Granted, as a noble you are quickly dropped in magma. It's an awesome way to die though.

I wish for the crashed time system to get rebooted.

[Caesar]

Time is rebooted, but pathfinding breaks down instead.


I wish for my very own universe!

[Omegastick]

Granted, you get the universe right before it ends, killing you in the process.

I wish for an uncorruptable wish.

[Diablous]

Granted. You come up with an uncorruptable wish. As you come here to post it, you get hit by a meteor. You die.


I wish no one posts any more paradox wishes.

[Keita]

granted but you headsplode.

I wish I had a better internet connection so I can get Mechwarrior 4 faster.

[Caesar]

You've got a better Internet connection, you get Mechwarrior 4, but then your computer explodes.


I wish for the previous poster to explode.

[Keita]

Granted but I explode with the force of a nuclear bomb and I'm sitting right behind you.

I REALLY wish DF 2010 would run faster than 25FPS