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[Tarran]

Granted, but the booze runs out mysteriously, and he burns out on the same tile everyone was using to get to the (missing) booze, everyone dies without an explosion.

I wish Jupiter, was instead, a brown dwarf (star!) named after me.

[Naresomez]

Jupiter turns into a brown dwarf star called Terran, skewing the orbit of the solar system bodies, colliding with Sol, and explodes.

I wish I could graduate this year 

[Sensei]

Granted- you get a four year degree, in just two weeks at Universidad de popa!

I wish I wish I was a dish I wish cool jazz came back in style. Enough of these new-age auto-tuned whores!

[Tarran]

Granted, the internet disappears due to the whole world traveling back in time.

I wish Aurora had more players and had a better interface...

[Phantom]

Granted, it has -6000 more players and it's interface has become -750 better!

I wish I was Dr. Thrax.

[Halmie]

Granted, it also means you're dead.

I wish Phantom would change his personal text.

[Acanthus117]

Granted, It's now Motherf*cking KING of Procrastination!

I wish that I had a tasty taco.

[IronyOwl]

Granted. A ravenous grizzly bear kills and eats you in a fit of jealous rage.

I wish I had giant mechanical bears.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted, but they are made of gold and crumple in on themselves

I wish Strep Throat wasn't so harsh on the voice

[Peewee]

Granted. It's now hard on the immune system, instead.

I wish for blueberry pancakes.

[Diablous]

Granted. It's now hard on the immune system, instead.

I wish for blueberry pancakes.

Granted. They are so small that you can inhale them.

I wish for a computer with 10 gigs of RAM, 100 terabyte harddrive, and a 1 terahert processor. And that it took up no more space, no more power, and produced no more heat than a standard computer.

[IronyOwl]

Granted. Skynet functions excellently, for a time...

I wish I had a Skynet.

[dragnar]

Granted. A net falls out of the sky and lands on your head.[/bad pun]

I wish I had a super-power. And not a lame, useless one either.

[Phantom]

Granted, you gain the ability to shoot concentrated beams of radiation from your hands and eyes. You die of radiation poisoning a day later.


I Wish I had a Juggernaut-Induced death. (My death.)

[IronyOwl]

Granted. Though you're never aware of it, that passing Juggernaut gets a bit of mud on you, causing you to have to wash your pants. On your way to accomplish this, you pass a man with an infectious disease, causing your ignominious death three weeks later.

I wish for a large armored vehicle.