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[dragnar]

Granted. The genie is unable to understand what you are saying, so he simply changes the word "death" to "fush and chupz " before granting your wish.

I wish for Lordship over anything that dwells in or is made of water.

[IronyOwl]

Granted. But so far from your servants, the wrath of the Air Lords is swift and terrible.

I wish I lived underground.

[Diablous]

Granted. You are in a sealed underground cavern fille with water. You drown. I wish I had the best strategic skills ever, with no negative physical, mental, or emotional side effects.

[kurokikaze]

Granted. You are in a sealed underground cavern fille with water. You drown. I wish I had the best strategic skills ever, with no negative physical, mental, or emotional side effects.

Granted. In blink of an eye you see the world as complicated network of decisions and possible outcomes. Nothing can evade your eye, you know how everything will unfold with most accurate prescience.

In perfect physical, mental and emotional state you make perfect strategical decision — to cease to exist in this doomed and hopeless world.

I wish for fried banana.

[IronyOwl]

Granted. A tsunami of boiling grease thunders towards a tsunami of bananas. They collide directly upon you, encasing you in a searing tomb of deliciousness.

I wish I had an adorable rodent sidekick.

[tombthedwarf]

granted: you now live in a cartoon from the "bugs bunny era" with all of the repeated death that come with that territory, and the mouse causes that, and he cracks wise about you, and he has rabies

I wish I had an army of completely loyal and utterly Invincible solders to conquer the world

[IronyOwl]

Granted. Unfortunately they have no interest in managing or defending their new holdings, and you are eventually ambushed following your godlike assault troops as they butcher a path through someplace you had to conquer six times now.

I wish I had a giant robot.

[Hungry]

granted but its a giant man-eatingant-eater robot.

I wish for two less days...

[kurokikaze]

granted but its a giant man-eatingant-eater robot.

I wish for two less days...

Granted. Weekends are gone from your schedule forever.

I want a cup of tea.

[IronyOwl]

granted but its a giant man-eatingant-eater robot.

I wish for two less days...

At first I was gonna say, unless it ate me first that'd be one disappointed genie.

Still not sure how that's not awesome though.

[dragnar]

Giant ant-eater robot: useful? No. Awesome? Most definitely... unless it's size makes it consider humans ants, in which case the awesomeness rises exponentially.

I want a cup of tea.

Granted. You now have a cup with a letter "t" in it.

[stonemt]

your wish was nonexsistent. therefore so are you!

i wish that anoying movies no longer made it difficult to find the ones you want to watch...

[Phantom]

Granted, but you soon grow bored of watching the movies you want to watch and begin to look for different movies. One problem, you can't find any except the ones you use to want to watch.

I wish for Kane.

[Peewee]

WWE wrestler Kane breaks all of your limbs (and pokes out your eyes), then smashes your head with a chair for good measure.

I wish for more cuddawy wuddawy kittens.

[dragnar]

Granted. Someone triggered a thermoneuclear catsplosion moments after you received them.

I wish ubisoft didn't use DRM.