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[Cheddarius]

Granted. You wish you had a fish. You don't.

I wish people wouldn't flake on their turns.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. Now people ignore completely their turns.

I wish I had a glass of malk.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You have a glass that is constructed completely of supercooled malk. The moment you touch it, your appendages fall off from the cold.

I wish I had some steak.

[Halmie]

Granted. You get a human steak, are those cops knocking on the door?

I wish my cat aged at the same rate as me.

[Criptfeind]

Granted, your life span is now 15-20 years.

I wish that wisdom teeth did not need to be taken out.

[Cheddarius]

Dude. I feel for you. Best of luck with the pain.
But granted, they take out all your other teeth instead. And your spine, for some reason.

I'm happy. I don't think I need anything to wish for right now.

[BKWM]

Unfortunately, you did, but since you didn't wish for it, Armok will have to punish you personally. I would suggest sacrificing several cute kittens in a very public, extremely bloody way, in order to assuage him.

I wish for a computer that could handle running dwarf fortress with full 3D graphics without lagging when i cave-in half the map because of a minor miscalculation, causing massive flooding of magma into my giant cistern.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. You strap two japanese schoolboys together and stick wires into them.

I wish insomnia didnt suck

[Cheddarius]

Granted. It blows.

I wish people wouldn't try to team-genocide all my guys in ELite.

[Criptfeind]

Granted, after a bunch of bad rolls all your colonests die off and your researcher take the rest of the population. You are now extinct. No one has any reason to attack you any more, but they do learn to put some points in to Pop action and Pop power before they gamble all of there guys. Or at lest to not piss off the GM with complected moves before gambling all of their guys.

I wish that the Metroid would piss off every body and get killed because they are the only ones who I share resources with.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You do the same.

I wish I understood ELite more.

[Criptfeind]

Granted you know as much as Webaddict, so maybe you know 15% of the game.

I wish the guy who made ELite would come back online and tell us how it works.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. He explains its inner workings in detail, and you lose all sense of mystery. The game no longer holds any interest for you. You uninstall.

I wish I had a Clean cantrip so I wouldn't have to waste time showering every morning. And that I didn't have to spend time sleeping.

[Criptfeind]

Knowing the technical  workings of a game makes it funner for me, but whatever.

Granted you gain minor magical power, the government finds out and captures you. You spend the rest of your life be agonizing tested upon. At lest you get breaks to sleep... o wait.

I wish I felt good enough to go to the zoo.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. A monkey flings its disease-ridden fecal matter at you. You no longer feel good enough to go to the zoo. Mostly because you're dead. Yes, you have contracted a particularly fast-acting strain of Ebola.

I wish my trash can would empty itself.