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[Helmaroc]

Granted.

QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM

There, straight from his keyboard.

I wish for a fhqwhgads.

[Okenido]

Granted, but you forgot that the fhqwhgads is the deadliest killer known to mankind. Have fun!

I wish, I wish, I wish I was a fish.

[Bien]

A Phase Sword hits only what the user wants to hit, when it encounters an obstacle the part in contact with the obstacle will go into slipspace, and once the part is clear of the obstacle, it re-emerges into realspace.
Granted, but you get eaten by a bigger fish.
I wish for a pet elf (female).

[Kagus]

Granted.  However, she killed people before her taming, and so she rips you apart while you stand around and gawk at her.

I wish to purge the unclean and burn the heretics.

[Duke 2.0]

Granted, but you get unclean heretic ash all over you. Then through the bizzare religious system you made to have followers to help you with this goal, you are considered "Unclean" and burned.

I wish I was the biggest fish in the pond.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,but not long after you are seen by a HUMAN,soon after thousands of fishers compete to fish you up and soon enough they succeed,you are then afterwards processed,and eaten by HUMANS,wish you were a HUMAN now don't ya?

I wish to be a super camo-fish that goes on missions with Snake(MetalGear you know)like reflexes and can breath on land,as well as walk on land.  

[Bien]

Granted, but you fall into a 25 z-level deep spike pit (There's one in my old fort.)
I wish the elf would stop killing me, and will obey my every command.

[Impending Doom]

Granted. The elf now obeys your every beck and call. however, as everyone knows, elves are complete and utter wusses, and yours is no different. Needless to say, they don't last long.

I wish for a better dental plan for my legion of wind-up walking teeth.

[Bien]

Granted, but it costs 99 Trillion Dollars.
I wish for my elf to be smarter but will obey my every command.

[Impending Doom]

Granted. However, Intelligence has nothing to do with the fact that elves are pansies, so your elf is still a physical weakling.

I wish I had a REASONABLY AFFORDABLE dental plan for my legion of wind-up walking teeth.

[Bien]

Bah, I don't care about strength! And tell me why Lauralanthalasa Kanan fought through and survived the War of The Lance, The Chaos War and only died in the War of Souls when she killed Beryl with a Dragonlance, if you say that they are weak?
And granted, but it is only reasonably affordable for Bill Gates ($1,000,000)
I wish my Zen Stone was 8GB instead of 1GB

[Impending Doom]

I'm... afraid I don't follow.  :confused:

Anyways, your wish is granted. Your Zen Stone now holds eight gigabytes of memory. Unfortunately for you, your Zen Stone is now an ACTUAL stone. Good luck with your eight gigabytes of microcline!

I wish all of my wind-up walking teeth legionnaires wore dentures. ADAMANTINE dentures. INDESTRUCTIBLE adamantine dentures. FREE indestructible adamantine dentures. WEIGHTLESS free indestructible adamantine dentures.

[Bien]

Granted, but yu lose all your money and had to sell those dentures to Iran, who uses them to make indestructible tanks, jets, ships etc. Thus they conquer the world.
I wish my ZenStone had 8GB and still normal but plated in platinum.

[Kagus]

Granted.  A kobold steals it from your treasure horde, who then gets killed by a goblin ambush, who then get killed by marksdwarves, who take the platinum-plated zen stone and melt it down to make a platinum bar for a moody blacksmith who then makes a thong from it.

I wish this stew didn't have so many teeth in it.

[Impending Doom]

Granted. Your Zen Stone has eight gigabytes of memory, and is platinum plated. Of course, platinum is a rather soft metal, and you drop it crushing it.

I wish...

*glances around to make sure nobody but himself and Bien is present*

[whisper]I wish I had the free time and the internet connection to get to work on this Halo machinima I've been dreaming up.[/whisper]

*glances around the room shifty-eyed to make sure nobody else heard the diabolical secret he just revealed*

[ May 07, 2008: Message edited by: Impending Doom ]