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[Cheddarius]

Granted. You feel better right now. Unfortunately, two seconds later, you are so nauseous that you start vomiting internal organs.

I wish I had more bolts.

[dragnar]

Granted. All your doors and windows are now bolted shut.

I wish quantum physics made sense.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. Just not to you.

I wish Mythbusters full episodes were available for free on Discovery Channel's website.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. Everything else costs an absurdly high amount though.

I wish my internal organs would not be removed from my body when I vomit. Preferably with a method that does not involve the blockage of my throat or the removal of my organs through other means.

[Hungry]

Granted but you no longer have internal organs...because their mine now.

I wish for jolly ranchers.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You are surrounded by hundreds of cattle ranchers who leer are you unsettlingly and tell you crude pick-up lines.

I wish I had more money.

[Creaca]

Granted. Four dimes are now in your possession. Sadly, these dimes happen to appear in Each of your heart valves, giving you no time to enjoy spending them.

I wish for all Fortress at the moment of typing this to spontaneously suffer a tantrum spiral.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. Everyone ragequits, which causes them to stop donating. Toady loses revenue, blames it on you, and vaporizes you with his godlike Toady-powers.

I wish for more amusing TV shows.

[inteuniso]

Granted. Unfortunately, to network executives, watching a loop of a cat attacking a ball of yarn which hits a guy in the testicles is hilarious.

This, along with CSI: Miami, and CSI: Puerto Rico, and CSI: Lunar Expedition, and The Simpsons, dominate prime time.

I wish for a nice big steak to eat.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. Your succulent zombie elephant steak tries to devour your face.

I wish for lobster.

[silhouette]

Granted.
Giant lobsters from pluto invade earth and become the new overlords.

I wish for unknown.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. You get a random prize. It turns out to be death.

I wish my candy was meltier.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted.
Now, to eat it, you must be in subzero temperature, seeing as it melts much easier now.

I wish I had some more V8

[Hungry]

Granted, you are crushed by a falling V8 engine.

I wish for goblinite.

[Phantom]

Granted, although you shun off the clownite you just found so much all your fortress members leave to another players fortress.

I wish for a flamethrower. That is not being used to kill me. And that I have a permit for. Because they are legal. And make sure it has fuel.