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[Bien]

Granted, now it your sweat glands don't excrete sweat,now they excrete urine, crap and blood.
I wish both of my computers had 4GHz Processors.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.  They don't work.

I wish for a million live puppies, that crush me under their weight.

[Helmaroc]

Uh...granted, but you needed one million and ONE to kill you, so you just lie there, slowly fading away under all the happy little puppies.

I wish for a wand of wand-making.

[Cthulhu]

Granted, it only makes wands of wand-making.

Have fun with your wands.

I wish I could inhale and exhale at the same time.

[Armok]

Granted, it can take any stick and turn it into a wand of wand making, thus a self reproducing wand that does nothing else, but wait a few million years and see what evolution does to it's descendants...

I wish for the next poster to post 5000 words of incoherent rambling.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.

I wish the rain in Spain flowed mainly on the plain.

[AlanL]

Here ya go.

I wish I could go to college for free.

[Bien]

Granted, but that college is extremely run-down.
And Chuthlu's answer: Granted, but you can only breath like that, and while swimming, you inhale the water.
I wish for an air-zooka

[ May 04, 2008: Message edited by: Bien ]

[SHAD0Wdump]

And your wish???

I wish for people to stop forgeting their freekin wIsHeS ALREADY!!!

[Kagus]

Granted, they all remember to post terrible and unimaginative wishes.

I wish for veryone in the world (except me) to fall down and roll around in ice cream for seven minutes.  Mmmm, ice cream.

On an unrelated note, a Norwegian citizen can go to a Norwegian college for free. The University of Oslo is actually a rather high-class organization.

[Bien]

Granted, but the genie misheard you and thought you siad that you will roll around in ice cream infront of worldwide TV, while everybody is laughing at you.
I wish for a phase sword.

[Helmaroc]

Granted, but it falls on your foot and since I don't know what a phase sword does, it just turns you into a cow.

I wish for the next poster to post 10,000 words of coherent rambling.

[Kagus]

Granted.

I wish for nothing to change.

[Duke 2.0]

Granted. Nothing becomes something.

I wish for spring.

[Impending Doom]

Granted:

I wish for another epic masterpiece from the keyboard of AlanL.