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[Cheddarius]

Granted. The world runs out of cobalt and every nation sends champions to the U.N. to battle in the greatest thumb war of all time. Barack Obama wins with his mighty thumb of righteous fury, and subsequently gives everyone a fair share of cobalt. Then, everyone finds a new mine in the Congo filled with veins of cobalt and pie. Companies go there to mine it, and the riches are fairly distributed throughout the Congo. Everyone rejoices in their new delicious, pie-filled wealth.

I wish my eyesight was better.

[Morrigi]

Granted, but your computer transforms into hydrogen cyanide, killing you instantly.

[Cheddarius]

You really should make a wish.
Also, it's considered good form to have a corruption related to the wish. I said once that the guy just exploded - that's not really amusing, and webadict called me on it. But, his wish was incredibly cheap (there's really no way to corrupt it), so I think I was justified there.
For example, a corruption to mine could be:
"Your eyesight improves. Suddenly you can see clearly. In fact, you can see everything, everywhere. You see a thousand starving children. You witness death over and over again, never able to turn away. Life has no meaning for you anymore, and you realize that the world is pain.
Cheddarius is stricken by melancholy!
Cheddarius has died after colliding with an obstacle."

[Phantom]

I grant nothing.

I wish I am absurdly hard to kill, like Grigori Rasputin.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. People try to kill you, but fail in the process. To test your new ability, you put on a bulletproof vest and shoot yourself. You miss, making the bullet ricochet off of some metal, and into the back of your skull. The cops called it a suicide.

I wish for some freshly-bought paper towels. That smell like kittens.

[dragnar]

Granted. They are MADE of kittens.

I wish to be happier from this point in time onward.

[100killer9]

Granted. You are insane.
I wish that you would make two wishes so as to confuse the poster after you.
Also, my wish could have been corrupted by not corrupting it, creating a paradox that makes me vanish in a puff of logic.

[Cheddarius]

Granted. I will make a wish now, and another at some point in the future.

I wish that goblins didn't slaughter my guys all the time.

[100killer9]

Granted. Elves get to them first.
I wish you'd make two wishes in the same post.

[Cheddarius]

Granted.

I wish traders wouldn't run away the second they see they can't get in.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted, But then the government wipes their minds because they find the government is interacting with aliens..

I wish for a wish to wish for.

[100killer9]

Granted. Try wishing for death.
I wish that you wish that I wish that you wish that I wish that you wish that I wish I had a dog.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. The dog was rabid and ate you and your family.

I wish there was a nuke that hit a house.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. The nuke hits the house and falls off. It was just a replica.

I wish I didn't have all of these PENCIL SHAVINGS everywhere!

[Cheddarius]

Granted. Instead, you have PUBES SHAVINGS everywhere!

I wish I could be conscious while I slept.