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[Impending Doom]

Granted. I now begin mudslinging and tearing people down.

I wish you hadn't done that.

[Kagus]

Granted, I did something worse.

I wish you'd turn around.

[Impending Doom]

Granted. I turn around and go back to standing up for people.

I wish... that the next person is unable to corrupt a wish or make their own wish!

[Kagus]

I was really hoping that the response to "stops standing up for people" would be "granted, he now lies down for them".

This post is a paradox.

[Cthulhu]

Granted.

I wish this wish weren't a wish.

[Impending Doom]

Granted. But wait, if it's not a wish, then it can't be granted so it is a wish which means it can be granted which means it's not a wish whichohgodPARADOX!!!

Me wish me has lotsa teef whit which I's gonna buy me a big shoota whit lotsa dakka!

[Helmaroc]

Granted, but you need braces. Badly.

I wish I had a super-computer. That didn't have a mind of it's own, could not harm anything or anyone, and was unbreakable.

[Impending Doom]

Granted. Your supercomputer has no mind of it's own, is incapable of harming anyone, and it's built so tough that it could withstand a fusillade of nuclear warheads. Because it has no mind of it's own, it requires user input for everything, and thus is intolerably slow. Not so super now, is it?

I wish somebody hadn't set up me the bomb.

[Cthulhu]

Granted, someone set up a bomb in your vicinity instead.

I wish Facebook allowed custom layouts like MySpace, it's really the only thing MySpace has over Facebook.

[Bien]

Granted! Facebook now has layouts, there are two, one is pink with flowers, and says "This user is gay!", the other is a epileptic siezure causing tiled picture of a nuclear explosion that changes colors in a psyclodelic way and says "This user is GAY!".
I wish my Rolex had some batteries.

[SHAD0Wdump]

Granted,but it now uses CAR batteries,the watch is now sooo heavy wearing it can only be a blast right?Also watch how you wave your arms you might shock yourself.

I wishawisha.

[Impending Doom]

Grantagranta.

I wish I didn't have to download Garry's Mod through snail's-pace Steam.

[Bien]

Granted, now you downloaded it through a piracy site, and it's 1bps, and is letting tons of viruses and other malware through.
I wish I had a download speed of 65MBPs.

[Cthulhu]

Granted, but so does everyone else.  Within ten minutes, that speed is obsolete.

[Bien]

Joo haz no wish, so i taek wish.
I wish for Elona to be complete and the translation is in PERFECT english.