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[S.K. Ren]

Granted. Now the cartridges go in his anus, like a real spider.

I wish I could make decent curry.

[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. Your curry is so good, even being in the same room causes you bodily functions to shut down. You make a batch, then fall into a coma.

I wish for more graphite for my mechanical pencil. 0.7 mm graphite.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. It is soft, flawed, hollow, and 0.01mm long.
(There is a secondary joke here, at no extra charge!  )

I wish my super power was Super Programming!

[Phantom]

Granted, although you have a lifespan of one second.

I wish that the British empire did not disperse.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Instead it goes in a different direction and we get the plot of Poul Anderson's High Crusade.

I wish more people would tell cheesy jokes.

[Phantom]

Granted, but the worlds best comedians, and Shep (Jean Parker Shepard), have caused all the cheesy joke tellers to kill themselves because the comedians were to awesome.

I wish that Archduke Ferdinand did not get shot.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. He was smothered by a lap dancer. Everything unfolds just as it did.

I wish you would tell a cheesy joke!

[Phantom]

No.

I wish for Archduke Franz Ferdinand not to die until he dies of natural old age.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. His natural death date is several hours after he would have been shot. He dies then, leaving history unchanged.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

I wish you had actually addressed my wish :/

[Phantom]

Actually, if he died of old age, no one would be mad and WW1 would not start.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

They would have come up with another reason. It was all about exotic monetary instruments like leases on potential swine cabbage futures.

[Cheddarius]

Swine cabbage futures, swine cabbage futures! Getcher swine cabbage futures here!

[dragnar]

I find it amusing that no one will grant LeoLeonardo's wish.

[Cheddarius]

I wish you would tell a cheesy joke!

Why did the baker become a baker?
Because he KNEADED THE DOUGH LOLORZ