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[Psyco Jelly]

Granted, the komodo dragon explodes, killing everyone in a fiery hellstorm.

I wish for a better wish.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted.

I wish for someone to find a better emoticon than this,

[webadict]

Granted. You will spend your lifetime doing it.

I wish for a golden hippopotamus.

[Huesoo]

Granted it eats you

I wish I had leet drawing skills.

[Alexhans]

damn... I was ninja'd by a lame joke...

Granted.  You already have skills to impress most people who may rank drawings skills as "leet".

I wish Spain would win the world cup this year.

[webadict]

Granted. It's for their rugby team.

I wish I had a pet ostrich.

[Huesoo]

Granted it pecks your eyes out

I wish there was a day where there is oriental disney princess

[webadict]

Granted. Her name is Mulan.

I wish all pronouns were replaced with it.

[Huesoo]

Granted 

I wish there was a day where there was frog who dance know and black prince.

[Rozenbuddy]

Cannot compute.

I wish for a loituma girl clock.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, but its boiling point is absolute zero and it disappears immediately. Along with it goes your enjoyment of anime.

I wish this apple didn't taste so weird.

[Alexhans]

Granted.  It will have no taste at all (and wont be as nutricious either)

I wish I owned the biggest personal library in the world full of sci-fi and classic books.

[Huesoo]

Granted it burns down before you can read any books

[Archangel]

*Clears throat*

POST A BLOODY WISH!

[webadict]

Granted. The wish is incredibly gruesome and all users become sick from its sight.

I wish people weren't complete morons.