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[Tradanbattlan]

Granted. Not only does he get better, he gets so good in his coding that he can conjure dwarves from his computer. Now, with his loyal army of bloodthirsty dwarves, he realises his dream.
To take over the world.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I wish for some Scotch tape. The kind you buy from the store, exactly like that kind. And no, the store doesnt stock hazardous tape.

[Cheddarius]

You buy special Scotch-infused AlcoholoTape (tm) from the local store that caters to alcoholics. You become addicted to its smooth flavor and waste your life savings buying alcohol-infused tape. Years later, after everyone you know and love has been alienated by your incorrigible drunkardness, you finally bring yourself to go to AA meetings. The people there are so shocked that they give up all hope and simultaneously fall off the wagon. Desperate for drink, they resort to trying to steal ethanol from cars. Unfortunately, it turns out to be a 15% ethanol, 85% gasoline mix, and it kills them slowly and horribly. As you stand over them, a few survivors screaming in agony, you weep, slowly bringing a gun to your head. Why did it have to be this way? Why did you have to ask for Scotch tape?

I wish for a netbook.

[webadict]

Granted. You are put on a quest to retrieve this Netbook by doing many hours of manual labor, which simultaneously slowly builds you a small amount of wealth. You then brave a mighty jungle of metal beasts, slaying a few and freeing the captives inside. You are nearly taken out by one of the metal land dragons, which roars as you jump out of its way.

You finally make it to the dungeon where the Netbook is currently held. It emanates evil. You look for an entrance, finding that the doors sealed. You go to force them open, when, upon your approach, they open for you. You take this as a bad sign, but enter anyhow. Inside, you see many peasants. Some of these peasants seem to be under some sort of spell, cleaning and arranging the dungeon in odd fashions. You look about for the Netbook, when you are approached by one of the controlled peasants! He starts an incantation, but before he can finish, you severe his head. The other peasants, both under control and not, panic! They clearly think you are the evil one!

You begin to search quickly through the fear-driven peasants for the Netbook. You manage to find one when you hear alarms. It's the guards! They've been alerted! You desperately try your hardest to flee the area. Seems many of the peasants had fled. In an effort to disguise yourself, you switch clothes with the deceased peasant. You flee out the doors, quickly deceiving the guards that the villain was still inside, and make off with your loot.

You return to your dwelling, only to find it surrounded by guards! Curses! Seems you may have failed your quest. You figure you can try to take out the guards! You manage to kill two of them when you are hit by projectiles! You're pretty sure it was the spell Magic Missiles, but no ordinary wizard's spells are this powerful! And your magic deflection did nothing! You ponder about what creatures these are, staring up at the sky.

You are arrested on the grounds of vandalism, murder, attempted murder, theft, and resisting arrest. You managed to survive the onslaught of bullets, and were sent to an asylum for the rest of your life. You never got to play your Netbook.

I wish all wishes would end up like this.

[Huesoo]

Granted but your internet connection fails and you cant read any other wishes!

I wish I knew any good scary movies?

[webadict]

Granted. Yes, you do.

I wish you were dead.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But, only mostly dead. He got better!

[webadict]

Granted. You are banned forever from this thread for being a complete moron.

I wish to own a monopoly.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You own both Mediterranean and Baltic Avenues. Or whichever those first two crummy purple properties are.

I wish for mashed potatoes. Not the dried powder ones, but real potatoes all mashed up with the skins and everything. A pat of butter on top in a little dip and fatty brown meat gravy drizzled all over.

No I'm not hungry right now, but it's been a while since I've eaten mashed potatoes

[Huesoo]

Granted but their is a potato famine going on. The village people hear of this and think you have stolen all the good potatos and come and ravage your house killing your family and taking you mashed potatos.

I wish my upcoming adventure thread will have succes.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted but everyone in it is cursed to always drop the last letter of every sentence.

I wish for some Grey Poupon.

EDIT: *Prances on the temporarily-dead corpse*

[webadict]

Granted. It's nowhere near you.

I wish for the Earth to be flat.

[Huesoo]

Granted but cats all over the world thermonuclear explode over this fuckey of science

I Wish Morons Will Stop Typing Like This.

[Morrigi]

Granted. thEy wIlL nOw sTaRt tYping LiKe thIS.


I wish i had an infinite supply of cake.

[Huesoo]

Granted its carrot cake

I wish my penafhuehftyuewhugewhufouewgoiuwegiugyuwuoihgiuewhuifhuehhuesioofeuhwgiuhweifhwehguehfuwehfhw

[Tradanbattlan]

Grantisoahdoisahnpa[w

I wish Morrigi would realise that carrot cake is more delicious than regular cake, thus being not a corrupted wish, but a blessed one.