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[Tradanbattlan]

It explodes, but launches bits of Mars everywhere. One impacts the Earth, causing our 2012 Apocalypse.
Also, Doomguy is dead now. You bastard.

I wish Doomguy was alive again

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But he lives in Morrowind.

I wish MMOs didn't have the inherent faults of being MMOs - that is, players will ruin anything they can affect just for the lulz.

[Phantom]

Granted, but the MMOs become completely boring, and just to play one you have to pay 4 million per hour.

I wish for Deimos to explode and Phobos to explode, as long as they explode, I'm fine.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Now we'll never have UESC Marathon. Good going, man!

I wish I were a heck of a lot more motivated.

[Huesoo]

Granted but you realize that theres nothing in life that gets you motivated

I wish i didnt just realize that tradanbattlan name was taken from /v/'s pokemon threads!

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. You now remember all the time you spent on /d/.

I wish there was a 24 hour pizza joint / bar / bookstore no more than a few blocks from me.

[Huesoo]

Granted but the pizza joint is full of druggies and the only pizza topping they have is escargo. The bars beer is flat and warm and the bookstore only has necro porn.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

You know there's a chance I could be a slug-eating tweaker necrophiliac.

...

But you're right, that place would be horrible. Well done, Hairy Lee :/

[webadict]

I wish people didn't post useless crap without wishes.

[Phantom]

Granted, they now post Cow Manure, which is more useful than ordinary crap.

I wish for Mars, Deimos, Mars, Phobos, and finally Pluto to spontaneously explode. I do not care about my own or others death because of the explosions.

[Tradanbattlan]

They all explode, as you wanted. You expect a painful death as bits of the planet are hurled into the Earth, but instead you are flung into space. You are now doomed to an eternity of drifting in the vacuum.

I wish for some bread.

[Phantom]

Granted, it explodes destroying the universe. Good show.

I wish for my last wish, I don't care what happens.

[Tradanbattlan]

Your wish is granted. All of the virtual replicas of the locations explode.

I wish for some not-explodey bread

[Phantom]

Granted, it implodes the universe.

I wish for a glass of water. At 0 Kelvin.

[Lord Dakoth]

Granted, but it's not a glass of water anymore. It's a glass of subatomic particles. Which degenerates into even smaller subatomic particles, which supercool the glass, contracting and shattering it. You now have shards of glass embedded in your hand, and a puddle of subatomic particles that you need to clean up.

I wish for Toady One to get better.