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[Puzzlemaker]

Granted.  Pirates now have depth perception.  Nice going, you doomed us all.  Not even ninjas can save us now.

I wish I could see clearly now the rain is gone.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Doves suddenly appear and attack you, perpetually.

I wish your puzzle would be completed someday.

[Sensei]

Granted. You watch the letters come together...
P...E...N...I... HEY!

I wish for EA to realize that great games might sell better than good ones.

[Nirur Torir]

Granted. The CEO has a massive revelation of understanding, and begins simultaneously making 18 great, original games for different genres and platforms. He is sacked three months before they are finished. The new CEO scaps the games and decides to focus most of the company resources ensuring that Madden 2011 has more slightly different versions of itself then Street Fighter 2.

I wish I had the ambition to get a real avatar.

[Sensei]

Granted. Much your dismay, your ambition has been fulfilled for you.


I wish my avatar looked enough like , instead of an amalgamation of corrupted photos to create a logo for a group that no longer exists in any way, that has been shrunk and compressed to bare recognition.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Your avatar is now a comma.

I wish for more jalapeno poppers.

[Sensei]

It's so spicy, you breath fire- all over your new monitor. That'll teach you to eat at the computer!

I wish I hadn't made that typo in the above post- I was  I'd typed "I wish my avatar looked like SOMETHING, instead of..."

[Strife26]

Granted. You edit your post. Nothing happens.


I wish for a light, strong steel pole that's six feet long and 2 inches in diameter.

[Phantom]

Granted, but it burns the flesh off your hands unless you find the holy grail.

I wish he knew where it was located,

[dragnar]

Granted: Somewhere in outer space. Get searching.

I wish I could has cheezburger!

[Strife26]

Granted. You can has cheezburger. You eat it, not realizing what 'cheez' actually is. Needless to say, after a horribly painful transformation, you become a small lump of iron pyrite.


I wish for a small lump of iron pyrite.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. It's made of cheez.

You are at the door to the north, standing in a dark room. There is a three-hole punch here. Exits are North, Southwest, and Dennis. You have: a letter, a magazine subscription notice, an elaborate Faberge egg, and no hope.

I wish to call the help line.

[Sensei]

Granted. You just saved yourself about a dollar and a trip to the nearest novelty store.
Granted, please hold.

Okay, .s.eriously... I typed "I was .s.ure I'd typed..." this is getting weird. And there's two spaces there. That's no typo. WTF.

Both were words that start with .S... Shjdgklgh 1 Shlkghhg 2 Sure 3 Something 4
Both times I lost the first word starting with .S. in the post, and have .s.urrounded necessary .S.'s here with a dot, for test purposes...

I wish this nonsense wasn't going on...

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Your "S" key pops out, packs a tiny suitcase and porkpie hat, and leaves without a word. The slam of the door and rattle of the metal Venetian blind soon fade and all that remain in the house are wisps of his cigarette smoke.

I wish for noir.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. The show comes on on my tv, and i turn it off to go onto the computer to watch Rozen Maiden, however you do not see either.

I wish for SPaAAAAARRRRTAAAAAGHGFGGghgh *mouth foams* hghghghghghghghh guuuu bahahahahaahahahhchhghghghghghg....