Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, you had a tricycle, but Phantom stole it. He stole everything.

I wish Phantom's armor would gain a +1 bonus against zombies.

[Eagle]

Granted, because the armor is now made of crocodiles.

I wish college application didnt involve writing so many essays.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. It now requires that you please Phantom in a manner of his choosing.

I wish law school student loans would pay my entire tuition instead of leaving me to try paying the rest :/

[Eagle]

Granted. For them to pay your tuition first requires that you to please Phantom. In a manner of Sofia's choosing.

I wish for a blender monkey.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. The monkey blends only what it chooses. If you ask it to blend something it will telepathically ask Phantom for permission. Phantom will always forbid it. The monkey will stop staring glassy-eyed, and look at you with a shrug.

Sorry boss. Phantom says no dice.

I wish for Phantom to come back.

[Rashilul]

Ye gods.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Banned for not posting a wish.

Oops!

I wish Rashilul would become a more dapper frog.

[Phantom]

GRanted, but then I murder his family for all those other wishes.

I wish I knew how to take off this armor so I could piss...

[Sysice]

Granted. The process involves several irate hedgehogs and your tender flesh.

I wish I wished a wish to wish for wishes so I could wish for wishing wishes. And wishes.

[Lord Dakoth]

Granted, but the number of wishes increases exponentially, quickly exceeding the processing capability of your brain, which overheats, denaturing 20% of the proteins in your neurons. You spend the remainder of your life in a government nursing home, twitching sporadically.

I wish that Modest Mouse would have a concert in my hometown. And that I could go.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Yo dawg, we heard you liked Modest Mouse so we put a concert in your bathroom so you could party while you pee!

(And you have to pee in your bathroom, so this is actually pretty inconvenient)

I wish the Boston Big Picture site would do a series on DF.

[Rowanas]

And they will, to show the world that it should be banned in all countries, and toady put in prison for life.

I wish I was an indo-american factory worker for Nike.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. Any possible upside to the arrangement was a lie, and you're stuck in a bad job working for a lame company.

I wish Nestle wasn't such an evil company.

[Lord Dakoth]

Granted, now they are a nice company, and don't work for profit, and aren't secretly plotting to take over the world with sweets. One week after releasing a free, fat-free, sugar-free chocolate, they go out of business, because no one likes their sucky candy anymore and doesn't even want it for free.

I wish that the American government wasn't so incompetent at budgeting monies.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. They gain qualification to give all of your money to a rich bank.

I wish I hadn't ran out of Rozen Maiden episodes and wouldn't have to come back here for entertainment. (btw the ending was awesome!)