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[Armok]

Granted, you are very professional, and know how to play on people and betray the world for $$$, convincing people that what you are doing is valuable, but in fact you are just copy-pasting from the net and have no actually useful skills or understanding of what you're doing at all.

I wish Dunbars number was 10 times larger.

[Angellus]

Granted, all of your dwarves are befriended with all of your other dwarves, happy tauntruming!

I wish for a stick to poke Sofy's body, to make sure she died.

[quinnr]

Granted, the stick has tons of poisonus bugs and snakes on it, and they kill you. Happy poking!

Wishes for a pizza.

[knightedskull]

Granted, but the pepperoni wasn't cooked! Now you have some friends living in your tummy   

I wish for...um...uh...I wish I could remember. I'm sure it was awesome and involved with Frohman.

[kurokikaze]

You suddenly [em]remember it all[/em]. Now you wish you were not.

I wish for free and unlimited Internet acces for life.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted, but the speed is 1 bit per second and you have to turn a crank by hand to run it. The crank is rusty and sharp and weighs 267 pounds. It makes a lot of noise and you eventually go deaf from it. You also cut your hand on it constantly and get tetanus. Worst of all, you cannot stop turning it until you die, because then you'd be without an Internet connection.

You also cannot download any pron or use another connection.

I wish for ten times as many HTML tags.

[0_0 OH MY SCIENCE 0_0]

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. There is a slight miscalculation. Slight enough that you survive - for some definition of survive.

I wish for More Radiation

[kilakan]

Granted, except you are the first person to die from said radiation.

I wish I had an imagination.

[dragnar]

Granted: With your new imagination you come up with thousands of better wishes and commit suicide due to the shame of wasting your wish.

I wish I could speak Spanish with no loss of other abilities.

[Nivim]

Granted; you learned it from the people who locked you in this dark, damp room.

I wish the pie I created in the Divine Text Adventure existed in Real Life.

[Phantom]

Granted, but the Pie is involved in a great journey...
An ever so great journey...
And sacrifices itself for Armok...

I wish for a revolution here in america.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Granted. But it's a revolution of the Dance Dance variety.

I wish Achewood would update.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Okay so Onstad actually corrupted my wish pretty thoroughly. Achewood DID update but it was a guest strip by Tony Millionaire. While I can dig his work, it's not Achewood.

So it looks like unless someone else posts, Onstad will need to post a wish.

[Rozenbuddy]

What, no wish?

I wish for a male cat that has no kittens, and must be at least 1 mile from any female cat, and cannot reproduce all the same, for it's reproductive systems must be chopped off. Yes.