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[Sensei]

Granted. You realize though, that there isn't much to do. You usually give out at, oh, the ninth year or so.

I wish that THIS WAS SPARTA!

[Neruz]

Granted: We all dine in hell.

I wish you to give up your weapons!

[Sensei]

Granted- I guess you can have my can opener, if you really want it.

I wish for fine dining in hell.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. Satan also wants some of your innocent kittens to spice you up.

I wish i had a working State-of-the-art camra to post mah excellence.

[major_sephiroth]

Granted, the camera takes a perfect picture of you. But, you are so damn ugly, that whenever ANYONE looks at it their eyes bleed, rendering them either blind or dead. You also get the internet destroyed, because the governments don't want any more eye-bleeding.

I wish for pie.

[Phantom]

Granted, but it turns out to secretly be an Eip, and it eats YOU.

I wish I had a reliable way to power my tesla rifle so its portable, and I can't hurt myself with it. And I have a manual for it in english and in real english words.

[hexedmagica]

Granted, but it turns out that your protection system fails and you die from the radiation powering the rifle.

I wish for more people I know to play DF.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. they become Graphic-hogs and shun you.

I wish for a doom ray to spontaneously appear in the atmosphere and be controlled by the reincarnation of Hitler.

[Phantom]

Granted, But ACTION PATTON KILLS HITLER!

I wish people stop doing the Plan.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. Elves start doing the "plan".
_{(Elves are definitely not people.)}

I wish a 20x15 kilometer boulder would spawn into the reader of this message's head after they finish reading this sentence.

[Phantom]

Granted, but it bugs out and lands in YOUR head.

I wish for the Dakotas to unite.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted, but it bugs out and DOESN'T unite.

I wish I had many jewels in my pockets that were cut and non-sharp.

[blah28722]

Granted. They were in that pair in the washer. They fall out and break your washing machine. The net gain you got from the gems was $3.

I wish for The Beatles: Rock Band to have more songs.

[Sensei]

Granted. They're ALL the bad ones, to be absolutely sure people are clambering for the beatles: rockband 2.

I wish for not.

[blah28722]

Granted. Your fingers are tied in a knot.

I wish for silky smooth skin.