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[Jetsquirrel]

Granted , you get a poem that is so horrible that you dont want to read it

i wish that i could sleep longer

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i woke up at 7PM on a saturday

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. You sleep through the entire weekend and wake up on Monday, late of course.

I wish I had a tame giant eagle in my fortress.

[Phantom]

Granted, but it already killed some dwarves so massacre ensues...

I wish for a Tesla Rifle with a manual and a rubber suit covered in kevlar.

[dragnar]

Granted, one shot takes 1000 AA batteries.

I wish I were invincible!!!

[Lear]

Granted, you are impervious to all forms of damage and harm. Since he cannot kill you, your enemy bricks you inside a chamber in a catacomb while you are asleep. Naturally your invincibility does not add to your chances of ever escaping.

I wish for a face melting guitar solo.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. You come up with it and write it down, to be stolen by me and I will take full credit. Also I will use it to melt your face.

I wish i knew how to mod so that my giant desert scorpions could be war-trained. (Yes.)

[blah28722]

Granted. Give them the [trAINABLE] tag.

They were useless in combat.

I wish I had access to a hyperbolic time chamber of sorts.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. However the guards don't like you.

I wish elves weren't Hippocrites.

[blah28722]

Granted. The elves no longer insult hippos for their fatness.

They're still hypocrites though.

I wish for the entrance of earlier said time chamber to be in my closet, with no guards.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted.  It doesn't work.

I wish elves weren't hypocrites.

[Phantom]

Granted, they aren't hypocrites, but they are racist and critics.

I wish for 1 penny.

[major_sephiroth]

You get a special, limited edition, 1000-tonne heavy penny. On your face.

I wish that Fallout 3 had more enemies in it. The wasteland is very empty!

[blah28722]

Granted. Your computer explodes from having to render too many enemies.

I wish my head didn't hurt.

[Rozenbuddy]

Granted. Your brain hurts.

I wish I knew how to earn money on adventure mode.

[Nirur Torir]

Granted, but embarking with a fortress in a small area next to the town, just to abandon and return there with your adventurer to steal everything is slightly gamey.

I wish I had the persistence to stick with a fort for more then eight game years.