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[King Zultan]

Granted, all alcohol now contains capsicain, and even though it burns it somehow makes alcohol even more popular especially with the young people.

I wish everything was spicy.

[Magmacube_tr]

Granted. Everything, from lollipops to the wormy dirt taste like chilli peppers now. No more sweet things!

I wish for a personal planet that I own.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You're on your own for getting to it, though.

I wish I had money for traveling to places here on Earth.

[brewer bob]

Granted. The next money you receive may be used to travel to places.

I wish I had a good idea for a wish.

[EuchreJack]

Granted.  But then someone distracts you, and you have forgotten it.

I wish cats could talk.

[Mathel]

Granted. But their knowledge and intelligence is not altered. They mostly just demand food, and cuss.

I wish for breed of riding dogs.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Someone breeds dogs the size of horses. They face a slew of health problems in their short, oversized lives and are prone to eating people if improperly trained.

I wish for coffee

[King Zultan]

Granted, it's decaf!

I wish for free stuff!

[chaotic skies]

Granted, free stuff for life! It's all made out of those weird packing peanuts.

I wish for the sun to turn off.

[EuchreJack]

Granted, you are upset by the Sun's rejection of your romantic advances, but hopefully you can stay friends?

I wish for more free stuff!

[Mathel]

Granted. You get 5 masks made of asbestos.

I wish for an edible fish.

[King Zultan]

Granted, it has been turned into Lutefisk.

I wish for edible cheese.

[brewer bob]

Granted, but it doesn't exist on planet Earth.

I wish Earth was flat.

[Mathel]

Granted. Both mass, and surface (of one side) have been maintained. This causes a whole heap of problems.
First, gravity in the hub is now lower, while gravity on the rim is higher, but points towards the hub.
Second, the seas all flow hubwards, flooding what used to be the northern hemisphere.
Third, the Earth does keep spinning, but it's faces never face the Sun, causing eternal winter. It is not nearly enough to offset the gravity direction on the rim.
And Fourth, the rock that makes Coin Earth has only so much compressive strength. The Coin Earth collapses onto itself, crushing all survivors.

I wish the Earth was a cube.

[Magmacube_tr]

Granted. The world's NOW ME!!!!  atmosphere, being fluid, reshapes into a sphere, causing the centers of the faces to have much thicker atmosphere, while the corners almost have none.

I wish I was the world.