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[ArchimedesWojak]

Granted. They are in random places in the universe

I wish for cookies

[Yellow Pixel]

Granted. You get a large batch of cookies hot from the oven that look exactly like dark chocolate chip cookies, but they are coal chip cookies baked in hell.

I wish to have a dog.

[Mathel]

Granted. It is a Hellhound. It eats only brimstone and drinks only the souls of the damned.

I wish to walk the land.

[Magmacube_tr]

Granted. You walked all the land, and there is nowhere left to walk. You can't walk now.

I wish for omnipotency.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but your body can't hold all the power so it explodes.

I wish for a waffle.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Granted, but your body can't hold all the power so it explodes.

I wish for a waffle.

Granted.  It’s burnt.

I wish for a waddle.

[WillowLuman]

Granted.  It’s burnt.

I wish for a waddle.

Congratulations, you are now a turkey

I wish for sour candy

[wierd]

Your wish is granted.  You are handed a bag of some unholy looking fruit leather, made from lemons, limes, concentrated citric acid, and african miracle berries.

Sadly, to your dismay, you find that the 'candy' tastes insipidly sweet, despite it containing almost no sugar, nor any artificial sweeteners.


I wish for FTL to become a thing.

[King Zultan]

Granted, FTL (Full Truck Load) is now a thing, but this was always a thing that was possible so your wish was wasted.

I wish for a FTL capable spacecraft.

[Mathel]

Granted. The spacecraft is capable of traveling faster than light in regular space. It does not, however, have artificial gravity, inertial dampeners, timewarp compensators, or deflector shields.

As such, the ship has to accelerate to nearly lightspeed with regular engines to not destroy it's cargo before firing its FTL drive. When at FTL, any speck of dust can rend the ship apart, and both the crew and the computer are nearly unusable. The computer is barely able to keep a clock of sorts running, so that it can decelarate back to relativistic speeds after a set distance is traveled.

I wish for the ability to see near IR radiation.

[A_Curious_Cat]

Granted. Your vision works properly when you are close to sources of IR radiation, just as it always did.  Hope you liked wasting your wish!



I wish for a lifetime supply of stuff to drink.

[heydude6]

Granted, a note appears in your hand that says “Turn on the tap”

I wish for the ability to see the entire spectrum of light.

[methylatedspirit]

Granted. You are immediately overwhelmed by every single device that transmits radio waves of any kind. Your computer, your phone, your router, cell towers, (interference from) power lines, and so on.

The only way you can live now is deep underground, in a giant Faraday cage, and without any electronics to speak of. That, or you could try living in the National Radio Quiet Zone, but even that might not be enough. Even if you weren't overwhelmed by literally everything, few monitors, cameras, and video formats exist that could cater to your full-spectrum vision. You better have some connections with MPEG, or be absolutely loaded. Enjoy!

I wish I had creativity.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you now have loads of creativity, but only when it comes to things involving Sonic the hedgehog.

I wish for a power level of over 9000!

[Mathel]

Granted. You can now output power over 9000mW. But you could do that before anyway (9W is enough to give 9kg the acceleration of 1m/s^2).

I wish for geomantic magic.