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[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Humans also gain an extra dose of brutality and soon decide that torture is the best method of doing literally anything.

I wish for people with dwarfism to be treated better, socially.

[Eschar]

They are, but at the expense of tall people.

I wish to be immortal, ageless, and completely invulnerable (so I can't kill myself as last time.)

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Some Urist or other mistakes you for a necromancer and calls you out for not aging, so you're exiled to a distant volcanic island where you spend your days unhappily.

I heard there's a dwarf with a blue beard somewhere around here. I wish to meet said dwarf.

[Superdorf]

Granted. You are introduced to a short person with blue facial hair. Turns out he's just a midget with a dye-job.

I wish for a watermelon (randomly chosen among all existing watermelons) to be instantaneously transposed with an equivalent mass of seawater (randomly chosen from all existing seawater).

[Eschar]

You happen to be at the beach at the time. You've accidentally swallowed quite a bit of seawater by then. Guess what seawater is selected?

I wish for more wishes.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but they all get corrupted in terrible ways.

I wish for no wishes.

[Mathel]

Granted. All your wishes for your last post are consumed.

I wish for a watermelon to be switched with equal volume of air of the same shape which shares x and y coordinates with my dining table and it's bottom is 1cm above the top of it.

[Eschar]

You didn't specify a time. The watermelons appear while you are standing on the table to replace a light, and you slip and fall, crushing the watermelon and spraining your ankle.

I wish for unbreakable ankles.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Your wrists implode instead of your ankles.

I wish for un-implodeable wrists.

[Superdorf]

Granted. Your wrists are now absolutely impervious to implosion. They are, however, depressingly susceptible to explosion.

I wish for twenty pounds of packing peanuts. Preferably those cool-cool melty ones that go all gooey when you run 'em under a kitchen faucet.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but they appear outside, unprotected, in the rain, while your not home.

I wish for all the toilet paper.

[Ibid Straydrink]

Granted, but they appear outside, unprotected, in the rain, while your not home.

I wish for all the toilet paper.

Granted. Before the wish is even fulfilled, you are immediately filled a dread realization of the obvious outcome: it's all used.

I wish for humanity to expand into the furthest reaches of galaxy, subjugating every sentient species it encounters and creating a Roman-esque Empire that never falters until the last star blinks out of existence.

[Mathel]

Granted. But we are stopped from expanding outside of the Milky Way by the hordes of angry aliens from other galaxies who do not want to be subjugated. This leads to bilions of years of wars, where the human galaxy fights everyone and everything outside. We own the galaxy, but we certainly are not the good guys.

I wish for functional, affordable and safe FTL drive to be invented within the next 10 years

[pikachu17]

Granted. A Floridaman Titanic Love drive is made tomorrow.

I wish for a functional, affordable and safe Faster Than Light drive to be invented within the next 10 years

[King Zultan]

Granted, its so cheap that everyone can afford it, and a year after its creation the Earth has been abandoned and the human race has scattered across the universe, and it dies out.

I wish for seven seals to appear in everyone's house.