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[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! However, you soon find yourself apprehended by self-appointed space cowboys? Something ain't right here.

I wish for the space cowboys to see sense.

[Mathel]

Granted. The space cowboys see sense and want none of it.

I wish for the space cowboys to chase space cows and fight space bandits instead of harrasing earthlings.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but the space cowboys thing earthlings are bandits and continue to attack them.

I wish space bandits would come to attack the space cowboys.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, however they start pillaging Earth as well.

I wish all creatures of Earth are teleported to a new planet that has oxygen, liquid water, and carbon based life.

[Mathel]

Granted. The planet, however, does not have any land. It is a giant glob of saltwater, surrounded by pure oxygen atmosphere.

I wish for all earthen creatures to be returned to where they were teleported from and space cowboys, space bandits and space cows to be teleported to that planet witout their space vessels.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! However, due to the stresses of being on a new planet and back, all Earth governments unanimously enter World War Three and devastate Earth.

I wish for irradiation to be more feasible.

[King Zultan]

Granted, it was already feasible to become irradiated, so nothing changes.

I wish for everything to be radioactive.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! You die of radiation poisoning.

I wish for my immune system to be immune to radiation poisoning.

[Eschar]

That's not how it works. The closest you get is that your cells release a chemical signal when they notice their genome is degraded by radiation, and those cells are then flooded by angry leukocytes. The massive immune overresponse kills you once a few cells in your brain get irradiated.

I wish for everlasting life AND everlasting youth (learn from Greek myths, y'all) for myself.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! You outlive your friends, family, and associates, and thus go insane and one-stab-kill yourself with a sword.

I wish to meet Thor, and to be able to speak whichever dialect of Norse is required to speak with him.

[Mathel]

Granted. You meet Thor and he turns out to be actually a nice guy. He is currently on a hunt for a mighty beast, which attacks the two of you. He does kill it, but not before it kills you.

I wish for IFM to be resurrected like Thor's goats.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. IFM’s soul is now trapped in a random goat, when his body dies, his soul will travel to the nearest goat

I wish that everyone stops going to war and decides war is useless

[Lenglon]

Granted, all nations abandon the structure and restrictions of modern war, and instead go in on undeclared chemical attacks, nukes, inhumane prisoner treatment, and generally abandon all the principals and limitations of formally declaring war and obeying the rules of war. Because all those limits are useless and just slow down the process of making people die horribly.

I wish I could shapeshift.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but you can only turn into something once and end up spending the rest of your life as a random animal.

I wish it would rain eggs.

[Mathel]

Granted. It rains boiled ostrich eggs.

I wish for humans to regain honor.