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[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! You receive a combination-lock safe. However, the next night, some criminals break into the safe with a crowbar. Turns out it wasn't so safe after all.

I wish to be on friendly terms with criminals.

[King Zultan]

Granted, your on friendly terms with them because you are a criminal as well, and you have 26 warrants out for your arrest.

I wish everything on the internet was true.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Some dolt claimed that Earth was a torus and, due to your wish, Earth is now a torus. Astronomers worldwide are befuddled.

I wish for Earth to return to a spherical shape.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. The torusness is transferred to the moon
I wish the Coronavirus pandemic ends

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! It ends for you, but only because you've been transported back in time to the Spanish flu pandemic. Good luck!

I wish for poison and disease immunity.

[pikachu17]

Granted. You are immune to disease. Too bad ambiguous wording means you've been poisoned.

I wish for poison immunity and disease immunity for every human.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! However, a parasitic pandemic is soon infesting the world and, due to their poison/disease immunity, everyone's immune systems have nearly disappeared. The result is that everyone is soon regretting the demise of disease.

I wish for the demise of mosquitoes.

[Mathel]

Granted. They killed by a mold. This mold grows very well on any creature though.

I wish for molds to die in a fire.

[King Zultan]

Granted, all molds die in a fire, including your house which burns down because it has some mold in it.

I wish for everything to be made of cheese.

[Superdorf]

Granted! Everything is cheese.

Everything.

The Earth collapses into a turbulent, bubbling mess of dairy products. The rest of the galaxy soon follows suit. The universe becomes a cold and deathly place, empty but for the occasional lactic lump hurtling through the stars.


I wish only some of the things were made of cheese.

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! As it turns out, you are now the only object made of cheese. Cheese wheels everywhere have disappeared from existence, befuddling dairy farmers.

I wish to be immune to cheesiness.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. You can no longer ingest or touch cheese, doing so will cause your molecules to be repelled from it, if you have eaten cheese recently, your stomach will break apart to avoid contact with cheese, chewing it or drinking it will cause your teeth, tongue and rest of your mouth to tear apart so none of it touches the cheese

I wish I no longer believe lies and can never tell lies

[Superdorf]

Granted. The truth hurts. 

I wish I wasn't made of cheese anymore.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, you are now made of hyphae, you are a fun Gus now, better find something to grow on

I wish I learn the secrets of magic

[Mathel]

Granted. You learn the secrets of magic, but fail to learn the basics. Now you know all secret magical information, but still can't use magic.

I wish to be able to use magic.