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[Craftsdwarf boi]

It dies on itself after a few minutes of existing.

I wish for immortality (This can go wrong in so many fucking ways I know)

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. You were kidnapped and placed in a dark room with no windows. Your captors eventually forgot about you, and you began to starve, and get dehydrated. Because you are immortal, you don;t die, forever suffering starvation and dehydration in that dark room. Eventually losing your mind

I wish people stop committing crime

[Superdorf]

Granted! Everything is now legal. By definition, there are no criminals.

I wish crime was a thing again.

[Mathel]

Granted. Eating fruit is now illegal. Nothing else.

I wish for cannibals to stop canabis.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. Eating fruit is now illegal. Nothing else.

I wish for cannibals to stop canabis.

ok?
The cannibals work together to eat all cannabis sellers. They begin to sell the resulting human meat in the black market
(I have no idea what your intent was)

I wish I can better understand people

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! However, the strain of being a mind reader drives you out of your mind. How ironic!

I wish to be immune to insanity and inanity.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are however not immune to profanity. You are from now on forced to swear at least once in every sentence.

I wish for Incompetent Fortress Maker's swears to be censored everywhere.

[King Zultan]

Granted, and sense he swears so much the only way they could censored was to sew his mouth shut.

I wish IncompetentFortressMaker didn't swear so much so he didn't have to have his mouth sewn shut.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, turns out the censorers wanted to sow his mouth shut regardless of whether he swears or not, they start sewing other people’s mouths shut too

I wish the sky is purple in the day and a nice maroon at night

[IncompetentFortressMaker]

Granted! Now the sailors are going bonkers.

I wish for sane sailors.

[Craftsdwarf boi]

The sailors mutiny for completely sane and rational reasons

I wish the sailors are mindless drones devoid of sentience.

[King Zultan]

Granted, all sailors are replaced by robots.

I wish the sailors could find new jobs.

[Mathel]

Granted. The sailors are hired as fashion designers. Their fashion sense is terrible.

I wish for this crisis to end.

[Craftsdwarf boi]

Granted.
COVID-19 eradicates humanity, plague-inc style

I wish for a general-purpose panacea.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, but it only works for problems outside of the Milky WY galaxy

I wish people stop discriminating against each other