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[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, however all of them are microscopic and only target viruses and bacteria

[IonMatrix]

Hey Naturegirl, maybe change your wishes colour? Most people can't see invisible.

Granted. However, the pizzas are of rather unusual size. Understatement of the year, really.

I wish Toady instantly fixed all the bugs in DF

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, all arthropods in Dwarf Fortress are buffed to the point where they can be evenly matched against demons

I wish I remembered to make wishes instead of just being The Corruptor

[pikachu17]

Those wishes are all easily and horribly corruptible.

I wish I the power to create lemonade out of thin air.

[Mathel]

Granted. You now have the power to turn all gas with pressure lesser than 300KPa within 2m of your tongue into lemonade. All of it. Including the air within your lungs.  (For reference, standard air pressure is 101.325KPa)

I wish for a passive ability that catalyticaly oxidizes nearby ethylalcohol and methylalcohol into water and carbon dioxide, using the oxidation energy to sythesise adenosyntriphosphate within my cells.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, however, every drink you have must be alcoholic as dos the food you eat. You are no longer able to metabolize anything without these chemicals

I wish that humans can see UV light

[Madman198237]

Granted, but you can ONLY see in UV light. And the atmosphere is a good absorber of most wavelengths of UV, therefore your vision is far worse than before. Also, you struggle to adapt to the different appearances of everyday objects when viewed in UV light.

I wish for cooler temperatures.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. Everything drops by the amount of Celsius times two of the temperature things already were, so something 3 Celsius becomes -3 Celsius, boiling water  becomes -100 Celsius, ice doesn't change, as it is already 0 Celsius, etc

I wish I know how parasitism in plants begins, how they evolved to become parasites

[Mathel]

Granted. But during your research, 5 Rafflesias sprouted in your garden.

I wish for thermonuclear flamethrower.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get your thermonuclear flamethrower, but in order to make it man portable there isn't any shielding on the nuclear core and there is no cooling system, so you only get to play with it until it melts down and explodes.

I wish for five eggs that can't harm anyone including me.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, the eggs do not harm anyone, however, when they hatch, they hatch into moving sundew plants, which eat you and everyone else in the town

I wish that the USA no longer has corruption

[Sanctume]

Granted, all U. S. citizen are now stoned hippies, naked, living in communes, pursuing sex art to occupy their finite time in the holo deck at Star Fleet rehab camp.

I wish for pizza to be back in the menu.

[Mathel]

Granted. Pizza is back on the menu. Rotten pizza, singed pizza, capsaicin pizza and salt pizza to be specific.

I wish for FDA (or it's local counterpart) to inspect wherever the pizzas from the menu are served.

[pikachu17]

Granted. The FDA conclude that the pizza is perfectly fine, after they got a 'donation' from the pizza place.
I wish no part of the government could be bribed.

[Stirk]

Granted. The government dissolves, preventing it from being bribed.

I wish that we would discover and invade alternative realities.