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[Mathel]

Granted. All the hats are filled with mercury.

I wish for a pond of gallium.

[Craftsdwarf boi]

Granted, are immersed in a lake of galinstan, and you rapidly freeze to death.
I wish for a neutron.

[Superdorf]

Ach, we're short a wish. Let's try mangling something wholesome, eh?

I wish for a life well lived.

[Naturegirl1999]

A well lived a happy long life somewhere

I wish for the ability to manipulate molecular bonds at will

[MaxTheFox]

Granted. You can only manipulate one molecular bond every 10 seconds. Considering the number of molecules in a cubic centimeter of, say, dirt, this power is not of much use.

I wish for the Russian government to crack down on Neo-Nazism and ultranationalism.

[Craftsdwarf boi]

Granted.
The Russians initiate a global crusade against the far-right
It results in international (due to Russia installing militants on the USA) aggression and consequently WWIII
I wish for nothing

[MaxTheFox]

Granted, your brain is now nothing. You can't live without a brain and keel over, dead.

I wish for foxes.

[Craftsdwarf boi]

Granted, the result of said wish is found in The Corruption, to find it, you must avoid Eaters of Souls and break all of the Shadow Orbs, and defeat however many Eaters of Worlds you spawn as a result

H O W   A B O U T  H A R D M O D E

[Superdorf]

Granted!

You get foxes. Thousands upon thousands of foxes. They follow you everywhere. Everwhere. You can't eat. You can't sleep. You can't hold down a job. The foxes bring ruination upon your life with their very presence, and nothing you do can stop them. You shout, and they do not leave. You lash out, and they do not leave. You kill them, and more come. You slaughter them in droves, and always, always, more come.

You die forty years later in an old barn, surrounded still by the foxes you once desired. The foxes cracked your mind long ago.
I wish for an old barn.

[IndigoFenix]

Granted. The barn is full of foxes.

I wish I was in Monkey Land.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you go to the land of the monkeys, but the monkeys don't like you and they attack you and eat your face.

I wish everyone got to go to Disney World.

[Superdorf]

Granted! Every single person on the globe spontaneously teleports to Disney World. Due to the panic and sheer numbers involved, this results in a parkwide carnage like none seen before or since. Those few who survive slowly spread across Florida, piecing together their existence in an empty world.

I wish for sleep.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, you fall asleep, but you wake up an unknown time later being carried by a large group of vultures to an unknown destination, they must have mistaken you for being dead

I wish that the US government is no longer controlled by corporations.

[Mathel]

Granted. It is now controlled by a single madman.

I wish that the US government is no longer controlled at all.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, the states and territories, now without federal government, become separate countries
(Maybe not a bad idea)
I wish that Nicolas Madura actually cared about the populace