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[Superdorf]

Granted! There is now a mending spell. It is in the posession of an old guy named Ernie, and he mostly just uses it to keep his dentures from breaking down. The spell exists only in Ernie's memory, and will die when he does. All in all, the world remains depressingly unchanged.

There shall be an old guy named Ernie!

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, but he hates everyone.

There shall be sentience

[King Zultan]

Granted, everything ever becomes sentient, this doesn't really change anything as things like rocks and plants have no way to speak and we can't understand animals, so in the end nothing changes and everything remains the same.

There shall be ten thousand eggs!

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, they are in your brain. They hatch into larvae that eat you brain, pupate inside your empty skull, and when mature, break out of your head to find other people to lay eggs in

There shall be knowledge

[Mathel]

There is forbidden knowledge. Knowing it drives all within 54km sphere mad.

There shall be oblivion.

[Superdorf]

Granted! You recieve a copy of Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. It's been modded extensively, and is thus even buggier than usual.

There shall be horses that can walk up cliffs!

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, but they can never touch the ground, being confined to cliffs

There shall be mutiny

[Superdorf]

Granted! An irritable cabin boy deliberately leaves the sugar out of his captain's tea. How mutinous!

There shall be sugared tea!

[scourge728]

Granted! So much sugar it's more like tead sugar
There shall be an end to the "There shall be" and we shall go back to "I wish" for the remainder of the game

[Eric Blank]

Granted. But you have ruined a beautiful thing.

I wish this campground wasn't so goddamn noisy

[Mathel]

Granted. The campground goes completely silent, as there will never be any noise there. The effect is similar to the Silence spell but permanent.

I wish to be able to whistle without a whistle.

[MaxTheFox]

Granted, you can only whistle and not talk. People not only can no longer understand you, but they also find it very annoying and you lose all of your IRL friends.

I wish I was president.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, but you have no idea what to do and somehow start/continue WW3
I wish all plants could move as fast as animals

[Mathel]

Granted. All plants can now move as fast as adult sponges.

I wish for to have an aura that kills all diptera within 2m around me and harms nothing else.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. All plants can now move as fast as adult sponges.

I wish for to have an aura that kills all diptera within 2m around me and harms nothing else.

Granted, since members of Diptera are no longer able to be near near you, your blood is now targeted by moths, ticks, mites, and, in certain places, a certain vampire finch

I wish for our solar system to become a quaternary system