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[Laterigrade]

Unfortunately it can also harmlessly and extremely quickly metabolise everything else as well, including you — and any military weapons. It eats, in short succession, you, the Earth, and then the rest of the Universe, after which it dies due to lack of air. An enormous corpse is the only thing left, floating around in vast blackness.

I wish to live forever.

[Naturegirl1999]

You do, whenever your body dies, your soul moves to the nearest living body.

I wish I could see ultraviolet and infrared without eye damage

[scourge728]

Granted, you can see the words ultraviolet and infrared without eye damage, any other word causes eye damage though

[Superdorf]

I wish for a baseball bat that only Barack Obama can see.

[TheRedwolf]

Not even you see it, and you trip and split your head open.

I wish for a nice friendly dog.

[Mathel]

Granted. You get a nice friendly old dog. It dies of age within days.

I wish for a steel baseball that only I can see but anyone can touch.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, however, since nobody saw it, the post office didn’t deliver it, so now you have to search for it amongst all the other undeliverable items. This is made harder because unfortunately you cannot touch it, and the room is dark, so it will be hard to find

I wish that another animal other than humans have the ability to write and that their writing can be translated and understood b,y humans and that the other writing animal can translate and understand our writing as well, bringing a new Age of Enlightenment for both species

[King Zultan]

Granted, but their writings only mention there hate for humans and how they want to kill us, so the humans kill all the animals before they can kill us.

I wish for every human on Earth to be turned into onions.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted, the last humans on the ISS eventually die there, the onions got eaten by other animals, and there is a metal satellite (ISS) that now contains corpses, eventually it gets hit with space junk and the corpses are now floating in space. Congratulations. What was your goal?

I wish everything on the planet was a hive Mind. Hopefully this results in peace

[Mathel]

Granted. Every object with at least the volume of the smallest ant on Earth has the inteligence of a single hymenoptera insect and is able to communicate with every other object. This includes all larger than and including Pharaoh ants.

Since all creatures and computers now have the intelligence of ants, there is mass extinction. Not quite everything dies, but the higher intelligence a species has on average, the higher the mortality rate for it is.
Due to loose definition of "everything" however, the corpses retain their cognitive and communicative functions, even though they lose mobility. The only way for an object to be destroyed is to be fused with another object or be separated into parts smaller a Pharaoh ant.

End result = A planet, where most non-insect fauna is extinct.


I wish for all terran creatures to have telepathic comunication with power depending on brain mass.

[Superdorf]

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Granted. All earthly creatures can communicate telepathically with each other... but the telepathy is powered by brain mass. Which is to say, it consumes brain mass. Telepathically communicating with someone results in irreparable brain damage shortly thereafter.

(Despite this gruesome cost, telepathy still finds limited use in the military; suicide messengers can transmit information where radio would fail, in perfect secrecy. Morbid, sure... but occasionally worth it.)
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I wish for all earthly creatures to have telepathic communication that doesn't eat brains when used.

[pikachu17]

It uses their lungs instead.

I wish that the telepathic communications did not consume anything.

[TheRedwolf]

It does not consume anything, but it does Create things. Tumors.

I wish to be a necromancer.

[Gentlefish]

Granted. You post exclusively in threads whose last post was no earlier than a year ago.

I wish people stopped hating on gamefreak for no national dex.

[Naturegirl1999]

Granted. You post exclusively in threads whose last post was no earlier than a year ago.

I wish people stopped hating on gamefreak for no national dex.

Granted, they bombard gamefreak with Pokemon ideas instead, causing them to not be able to create said national poker due to the large influx of new pokemon

I wish people could switch bodies at will, and switch back as well, retaining all memories from each body