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[King Zultan]

Granted, but every colour smells like a different kind of shit, with brow being the worst.

I wish for a zebra that wouldn't kill or harm me and my family and friends in any way.

[Ultimuh]

Granted. The Zebra appears somewhere in Alpha Centauri.


I wish for UNLIMITED POWER!

[Mathel]

Granted. Your power is not limited. Unfortunately, your durability still is. When you first test your newfound power, you shatter all your bones and send whatever you used your power on into space. (Unless it is Earth itself, in which case you send your corpse into space.)

I wish for a telepathy-proof helmet.

[Coolrune206]

Granted. It's also airtight and you suffocate quickly.

I wish for an end to world hunger.

[Ardent Debater]

Granted. The resulting population boom dooms untold millions to a life of poverty.

I wish I had a second tongue.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you now have two tongues, one in your mouth and the second in a jar.

I wish for the Earth to be replaced with potatoes.

[Imic]

Granted. In a single instant, the world is transformed into potatoes. Suddwnly, there is no water, there are no plants other than potatoes. Endless, endless potatoes. The Human race dies a slow, painful death, sucking moisture from potatoes as the atmosphere breaks apart, and the planet Earth becomes a mysterious scientific curiosity for Aliens, baffled at how a ball of carbon this large could everossibly come to exist under normal circumstances, and why it has a normal rock moon, and why it has the remnants of a past carbon-based civilization that did not originate from the carbon the rest of the wo- they get very confused by it, to say the least, and Erth is forever rendered an empty wasteland for your short-sightedness in saying such a thing to a Genie.
But, you know, infinite chips provided you can get vegetable oil, so there’s that.

I wish the Steam sales would come quicker.

[Ardent Debater]

Granted. They do, and are sold out before you can take advantage.

I wish I were one point nine meters tall.

[Mathel]

Granted. You grow to 1.9m over 0.001s while maintaining your proportions. Your mass is accordingly increased. Your body is protected by temporary forcefield during the transformation.
Any tight objects around your body (such as clothing, boots and rings) are stretched, torn or shattered, depending on their elasticity and fragility. You create a massive shockwave with pushed out air, shattering all windows within 1km, deafening people within 0.7 km and knocking over reasonably light objects within 0.1km. You are knocked unconsious and have your eardrums ruptured by the shockwave reflecting from a nearby wall after the transformation concludes..

I wish for a silver mace.

[KittyTac]

Granted. You are smacked in the face with a silver mace.

I wish for kittens that won't harm anyone.

[Ardent Debater]

Granted. Eventually they grow into cats and you're scratched.

I wish I wish upon a star.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you wish upon a star and scene a star has no magic nothing happens.

I wish for a light bulb.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you drop it and it breaks.


I wish I had the energy and willpower to do something productive today.

[Rosull]

Granted. You decide to fix the plumbing in your house. Unfortunately, despite your energy and willpower, you have no skill and end up flooding the basement.

I wish this thread would keep going.

[Puppyguard]

Granted, but only in this timeline. In every other timeline, where you instead did not wish at all, the thread suddenly locks. Shock spreads throughout at the idea of a popular thread abruptly locking. No one is even sure who locked it. Some believe the illuminati is involved, whilst others claim it must be a mysterious new user. The strange temporal anomaly actually gets the illuminati involved, and they begin searching for you, forcing you to spend the rest of your days in hiding.

I wish for the ability to recall useless facts at critical moments, with the facts somehow being relevant.