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[WillowLuman]

Granted. There is world peace between normal people, cat people, tree people, every people. Until, that is, a well-intentioned megalomaniac embarks upon a scheme based not on hate but misplaced self-righteousness.

I wish to assemble a team to take on this morally complex supervillain.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you assemble a team, but it consists of you, a homeless man, a dog and a baby.

I wish that the assembled team would beat the morally complex supervillain.

[Mathel]

Granted. They beat him at chess. After he imprisons them, so that they do not interfere with his plot.

I wish for the prison guards to be vigilant.

[Lunardog15]

uirst mc gardson stops guard humans: INTERRUPTED BY CAT

i WISH FOR THIS TO CONTINUE

[King Zultan]

Granted, it immediately dies after a day.

I wish for an egg.

[CABL]

Granted. It's a dragon's egg, which drops on your head. The dragon goes mad and !!melts!! you.

I wish so that everyone in this world will be named Urist.

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

Granted, and their final fates/greatest deeds become their last names in the form of Mc<Doom/Deed>.
This fate is unavoidable but will come at an unknown time. You are deeply concerned to find your name is now Urist McNuclearTest.

I wish that my Mc<Doom/Deed> would be something truly epic to be remembered forever more.

[Cyne-Wulf]

Granted, you are now Urist McSurvivedADirectGigatonNuclearBlastAndAGammaRayBurst. However, everyone, including all the people you know and care about are now called Urist McDiesInANuclearWar or Urist McKilledByAGammaRayBurst. Coincidence? Probably not.

I wish that I escape this doomed planet and Gamma Ray burst by designing the first FTL drive.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you escape the planet, but being the first FTL drive it has problems and explodes and you die.

I wish I would survive the incoming nuclear armageddon.

[Eschar]

Everyone's dead. You go mad from the isolation.

I wish Danielle Rousseau hadn't been killed.

[Mathel]

Granted. She makes Claires life miserable by repeatedly stealing her baby.

I wish that Ben Linus turns into a pile of linen clothes.

[RAM]

Granted, but the colours clash so much that induce permanent and uncontrollable nausea. You are placed in a coma to prevent death from starvation. A cure is never found...

I wish for immortality by being transformed into a statue.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. You can still perceive, but only the sensations of bird poo.

I wish for bird

[RAM]

Your index fingers no longer bend.

I wish for ironic punishment.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Your index fingers no longer bend.

I wish to know how that's "bird"