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[Mathel]

((you seem to be a page late.))

[RAM]

Granted. Mankind has colonized Pluto, although we're not sure which one.

I wish for Venus to also be Pluto.

You are now more awesome. You inspire awe in all within 5m of you that can see or hear you or any of your worn items. That includes yourself. Awe means great fear. You have contracted autophobia.

Edit: i wish to become immune to such mind affecting magic.

You both spontaneously lack the mental faculties to realise that you are suddenly a pair of unthinking space-rocks, that spontaneously begin accelerating towards one another and will soon become intimately entwined. There will be fireworks. Well maybe just explosions. Well just the one, mostly, but it will be big...

I wish for less innuendo about celestial bodies.

[CABL]

Granted, but prepare for a far more horrifying innuendo involving roosters.

I wish for a delicious, grilled black cock for dinner.

[Smoke Mirrors]

No one is going to touch that with a ten foot pole.

I wish that CABL had not posted that.

[King Zultan]

Granted, he now posts it everywhere.

I wish for a can of beans.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Welcome to your new home.

I wish DBZ Abridged would update

[Smoke Mirrors]

Granted, it updates with a final update saying that they are quitting the series to go help Little Kuriboh with Yugioh Abridged. But hey, at least Yugitas will update more.

Not making a wish so that there is nothing to corrupt.

[pikachu17]

You never make a wish ever. The time stream is ripped apart by your efforts.

I wish I had a horse, that was a horse, of course, of course.

[FallacyofUrist]

Granted. You have a completely ordinary horse. It's in your bedroom on top of your bed.

I wish everyone liked cat people.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Everyone likes cat people, but no one likes regular people anymore, so everyone's hostile towards each other now.

I wish for protection from all those hostile, other regular people out there.

[King Zultan]

Granted you are given a balsa wood shield and a cardboard box.

I wish that all of the hostile regular people were dead.

[Mathel]

Granted. This does, however include yourself. You just comitted genocide upon the species Homo Sapiens Sapiens. Homo Sapiens Felimimus takes over the world.

I wish them to not repeat at least half of our mistakes.

[Smoke Mirrors]

Granted, they don't repeat all the small mistakes like forgetting to tie your shoes and or payoff for something when you could have gotten it at a discount, but they actually have more wars than us.

I wish to repeal the last 4 wishes.

[WillowLuman]

Granted. Regular people are alive, but we all still hate each other as Fallacyofurist's wish was the last 5th wish.

I wish for protection against all those hostile other regular people.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are now sealed inside the Perfectly Safe Capsule. It will dispense soldier grade meatpaste and water in sufficient quantities to keep you alive and there is a functional toilet. That is it.

I wish for all people to stop hating other people, thus stopping their hostility.