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[Rockeater]

Granted, the vast majority of them can't support humen life, you die soon

I wish for a gaming computer form 2017

[Mathel]

Granted. You get one of the last WiiUs. They were discontinued in january 2017.

I wish for mindcontrollable computers.

[deathpunch578]

granted now technomancers exist and they are all "that guy"

I wish I could go to a ghoul concert

[Lunardog15]

can I home brew the wii U

[King Zultan]

Granted, but the concert is filled with actual ghouls and they eat you.

I wish that I had some gold.

[Iris]

Granted. It was transmuted from some fat guy's shit.

I wish I was an alchemist.

[Ultimuh]

Granted, you are however slain by the State Alchemist killer for some reason.


I wish for a decent sequel to Full Metal Alchemist: Brotherhood.
(By decent, I mean not bad. But a worthy successor.)

[Lunardog15]

ok but the story is shit
cat launcher that shoots cats 

[CABL]

You forgot to add "I wish for". Besides, it sounds like the story is shit because of the said cat launcher.

I wish to bomb some dodongos.

[Mathel]

Granted. The bombing of dodongos takes place in your kitchen. It breaks all your fragile containers but does not hurt the dodongos. They can only be killed if they eat a bomb, while you simply bombed them from the outside.

I wish to ride a thoat.

[Gigabytebob]

granted but its legs get tangled

I wish for a pack goblin to carry my stuff

[Greatness942]

Granted, but it's a greedy goblin that takes all your stuff.

I wish for a pony that wears a fedora.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but the pony's an asshole that kicks you and craps on your furniture.

I wish for a baked potato.

[Smoke Mirrors]

Granted, but the scent of baked potatoes immediately becomes completely repulsive to you

I wish that the next person has to type out their post as though they have an Irish accent.

[Enemy post]

Ok, but you can't tell because I'm typing.

Bonus:

I wish that Enemy Post would make a sequel to Minimalism and Milk.

Granted, but I take a year to get around to it.

I wish I was immune to burnout on tasks.