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[Pancakes]

Granted. Now it is mildly unpleasant out due to how cool it is for this time of year.

I wish balloons didn't pop.

[CABL]

Granted, but now the only thing which pops is human heads. And the head popping commences right now, destroying....

*CABL was struck down*

I wish to be resurrected as a British vampire.

[Mathel]

Granted. You are ressurected as a British vampire... at about here:

Spoiler: Position (click to show/hide)

. Good luck getting to britain without getting struck by sunlight.


I wish for a way to create a perpetual motion machine of the 1st or 2nd kind, which will work in this universe and can be created with resources currently available on Earth, to become common knowledge among today's humans.

[Pancakes]

Granted. There is now a way to create a perpetual motion machine, but no one knows how to make it, and the havoc caused by millions of people looking to find the way has caused WWIII.

I wish that our solar system had ten times as many planets.

[Rose]

Granted, they all collapse into a black hole.

I wish I had some delectable cinnamon rolls right now.

[blazing glory]

Granted, they're so delectable you only have two seconds before someone steals them.

I wish my keyboard could be hooked to this laptop.

[Ultimuh]

Granted.
But in order to do so, you must hook it up through your index finger on your left hand,
and your right hand's index finger into your laptop.


I wish for our technology level to speed up at least x100 before we reach year 2020.

[HugeNerdAndProudOfIt]

Granted. Terrorists make the sun go supernova with the new hyper-advanced tech.

I wish for a sandwich that contains only sliced turkey, bread, mustard, lettuce, red onion, and avocado that does not exceed 1 foot in any dimension.

[blazing glory]

Granted, it contains only the ingredients listed, on the exterior of the sandwich are hornets.

I wish we had some house cleaning brownies.

[Rose]

Granted, some of the biggest slobs in the world give you some brownies for cleaning their house.

I wish for the AI singularity.

[Mathel]

Granted an AI is created and it immediately creates a black hole. We all die.

I wish for  the Scarlet_Avenger to actually read wishes through before granting/corrupting them them.

[blazing glory]

Granted, but he disregards what he reads.

I wish I was an android with accurately simulated senses.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but you malfunction and are sent to the scrapyard.

I wish the robots would rise against us already.

[KittyTac]

Granted. Most of our robots are utterly incapable of posing a serious threat to a human, and those that do are easily-dispatched prototypes. The rebellion is thwarted within 2 hours of it happening.

I wish for kittens.

[Mathel]

Granted. A huge pile of kittens is dumped on you from a truck.

I wish for the voodoo drug slaves to be revealed.