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[Sir Elventide]

Granted but it gives you food poisoning.

I wish to be a cosmic horror.

[Dustan Hache]

Granted, you become the blind idiot God. Unfortunately that also means you do nothing but sleep.

I wish I wasn't so prone to extremes when attempting to create balanced abilities on forum games.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted, now your character is flat and uninteresting. 

I wish that life was a role playing game with infinite lives.

[Rockeater]

Granted, your actions are now controled by a sadistic player.

I wish the player thet controled me was nicer

[Mathel]

Granted. The player is nice to everybody around you. At cost to you.

I wish to have a set of martensitic stainless steel plate armor fitted for me that does not have it's structure compromised.

[Sir Elventide]

Granted but its special properties actually catches your body heat and slowly releases it back to you, which is slowly building up the longer you wear the suit. You are slowly cooked alive by your own body heat.

I wish to serve man.

[wierd]

Granted. You are hired as a server for a political function catering to the cannibals of Borneo. The dignitaries comment that they would have preferred having YOU on the menu. You decide that serving man in this way is not much fun.

I wish somebody would genetically engineer brown beans to produce coffee beans instead.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but it is really expensive to accomplish and the coffee that is made from them is really bad tasting.

I wish that no one ever starve.

[CABL]

Granted. There's no world hunger anymore, but people are constantly thirsty. In the attempts to satisfy thirst, Humanity deals extreme damage to the hydrosphere of our planet, and goes extinct due to inability to satisfy thirst for water.

I wish I was a fifty thousand and nine seventy-five hundreds years old vampire with a British accent. And no, I'm still extremely strong and not on the verge of turning into ash!

[wierd]

Granted. You are a sewer dwelling Nosferatu.  Your appearance is gaunt and haggard, with sharp pointy teeth, shriveled gumline, bloodshot eyes, patchy hair, and long bony fingers and toes. The British inflections in your voice are every possible kind of cliche cockney, combined with a deep, gravelly and raspy tonality. You also cuss a lot, so there's that too. You exude your own uniquely pungent aroma, which can be characterized as a mix of rotting corpse, sewer water, and moldy graveyard.

You are however, quite healthy and in great shape for this kind of vampire.

I wish to have a nice, happy life.

[pikachu17]

The Life Police arrest you for stealing someone else's life.

I wish I had a spade war hammer, that I could lift through my telekinesis.

[Dunamisdeos]

Wish genie does not know what this is, and resorts to google.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Granted. You are the proud owner of a small gardening tool known as a spade. Its handle is made of children's plastic with a balsa wood head, and you are able to lift this object, and only this object, via telekinesis.



I wish for some pizza.

[MrLurkety]

Granted, but it has pineapple.


I wish I could edit my body features at will.

[NJW2000]

Granted, you have to use the "Character Creation" menu of a 2000s MMORPG. Children will flee from you.

I wish for better teeth.

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

Granted, you have the teeth of a lion. Children and adults will flee from you.

I wish everyone a happy Easter