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[pikachu17]

America is sucrifised. You were in America at the time.

I wish to see Rockeater's demise from a safe location.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get to watch from the top of a water tower, but the zombie bison have surrounded the ladder down and you have no weapons.

I wish the bovinocalypse happened in Europe instead of America.

[Mathel]

Granted. It happened in Europe. Then it spread to America across the Arctic, where it mutated to involve bears as well.

I wish to end the bovine-ursapocalypse.

[Rockeater]

Granted, the boring old zombie apocalypse replace it.

I wish the zombie were interesting.

[scourge728]

Granted, but then they all melt

I wish for a pie

[KittyTac]

Granted. A creampie is thrown at your face.

I wish for a stationary pie.

[Sir Elventide]

The stationary pie is made of paper clips. Get it, stationary pies?

I wish to be great at puns.

[Mathel]

Granted. But you use too much of them and some people do not understand you.

I wish for an edible pie to lay on one of my clean plates.

[wierd]

Granted. A magically animated and sentient pie, complete with whipped cream hair, lays down on your plate, begging you to not eat it, and to please transform it back into the little boy it claims it used to be. It smells heavenly.

I wish to know when the hurting (psychological) will stop.

[Maximum Spin]

Granted, it will stop as soon as Mathel finishes eating your new pie-form.

I wish wierd was a snake again.

[King Zultan]

Granted, wierd is now a snake and can no longer post on the forms.

I wish that North Korea would just nuke some thing already.

[KittyTac]

Granted. A nuke falls in your neighborhood. You are vaporized.

I wish for the current leadership of North Korea to be turned into normal cats with normal cat intelligence.

[pikachu17]

Like any normal cat, he plots to take over the world.

I wish that I had a set of steel plate armor that fits me, and weighs only 5 pounds.

[Maximum Spin]

Okay. In order to meet that requirement, of course, it's hollow and so thin it caves in if lightly brushed by a feather. Still, it technically fits.

I wish I had a turtle.

[pikachu17]

It is bowser from Mario bros. Being a sentient being, he rebels against your attempted ownership.

I wish I had a Klondike bar.