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[Aliemma]

Granted. It's broken up and uncooked spaghetti.

I wish I could get used to using my mouse on my desk instead of using my laptop as the mousepad.

[Gigabytebob]

granted but you use a live mouse and it bites you and you get the black plaque and die

I wish i knew everything that ever has is and will be

[Mathel]

Granted. The knowledge drives you mad. You are thej retrieved by a secret agency.

I wish for my skin to be projectile-proof.

[CABL]

Granted. Your enemies switch to melee combat, slicing you into pieces.

I wish to forget about the existence of F.A.T.A.L RPG.

[wierd]

Granted. Your painful memories of F.A.T.A.L. are gone. However, you instead now intensely remember the horrible glut of terrible MMORPGs from the very late 90s to mid 2000s.

I wish people would stop pilfering my goodies from the cabinet at work.

[King Zultan]

Granted, they no longer steal from your cabinet at work, and instead steal from your house.

I wish people wouldn't steal thing.

[KittyTac]

Granted. People no longer perform copyright infringement on The Thing.

I wish that the word "Nibiru" would be replaced by "Something Amusing".

[Mathel]

Granted. But so is every other name of the 5th planet.

I wish to see Something Amazing's shield.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Its not actually that amazing, its just a wooden board round shield with "something amazing" painted on the front.

I wish for a significant pile of cash for me to spend on whatever i want.

[Rockeater]

Granted, it's on Venues, if you bring it here you could spend it on whatever.

I wish I had a trip to India.

[Eric Blank]

Granted, but its only a one way ticket to an airport in a really shitty part of the country. You are stuck there until you can afford a ticket home.

I wish i could afford to travel outside the US. Even to Canada. That would be nice.

[Mathel]

Granted. You get enough money for a week of living in a cottage in north of Canada. One day, when  you are returning from a walk, you find out, that the cottage with all your stuff has been taken over by a polar bear.

I wish for bovines to be common wildlife in Europe.

[Eric Blank]

Granted. Cars are being totalled and people killed left and right because almost nobody has experience working with or dodging cattle, wild or not. Also everything is covered in/contaminated by shit and methane polution increases exponentially.

I wish american cattle ranchers raised american bison instead of cows. Bison is far more delicious.

[Dunamisdeos]

Granted. Cattle ranchers gain knowledge of the secrets of life and death, and share the techniques via tablets and 1-page codices. They begin raising undead bison immediately.

I wish that we had a way to combat the newlt spawned bovinocalypse.

[Rockeater]

Granted, you get a shotgun, you are their first target

I wish the bovinocalypse won't get out of America, I am willing to sucrefise them.