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[KittyTac]

Granted. It is on Venus.

I wish that the Sun would be renamed to Pluto.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but it causes a huge controversy that makes the world so divided, that it starts a war that ends with the earth being destroyed.

I wish people would just get along with each other.

[CABL]

Granted, but we get along only when a death ray destroys our planet.

I wish for Uranus to stop being the butt of astronomy jokes.

[Cadeyrn Heffernan]

Granted, they change it's name to Urektum.

I wish I was better at Dwarf Fortress.

[Rockeater]

Granted, But to clear space you forget how to walk, or shit.

I wish I wasn't working in the military.

[King Zultan]

Granted, you get kicked out of the military, and lose any and all benefits, and end up homeless.

I wish for four thousand watermelons to fall from the sky on my enemies.

[Ultimuh]

Granted.
But as the saying goes; You are your own worst enemy.



I wish that the next few wish granters would include mineral-based puns in their grants and wishes.

[Magistrum]

Granted but albite you.

I wish for annite of good sleep, my back is kilking me.

[Eric Blank]

You have been encased in annite while asleep. Your back doesnt hurt anymore, though, because youre dead.

I wish for a 40lb sledge hammer and a million acres of fragile expensive shit i can hit with it all i want.

[KittyTac]

Granted. You get a million acres of literal shit to hit with a sledgehammer. Not that exciting. And it smells bad.

I wish for a billion living kittens.

[Mathel]

Granted. The pile appears in on your lawn. The bottom ones do not stay living for long.

I wish to become a speedster up to speed of sound in air at 101325 Pa.

[King Zultan]

Granted, but you die when you slam in to a wall.

I wish for fifty billion cats to appear all around the world.

[Rockeater]

They appear in space, in a circle around the world,you know what happend

I wish I lived closer to my job

[pikachu17]

Your job is now in the garbage dump. You live in the dump.

I wish I had a loyal pet badger.

[Dunamisdeos]

Congratulations, you are now the proud recipient of a small, angry older gentleman who constantly harasses pets verbally.

I wish I had 16oz of spaghetti contained within a small tupperware on my desk.